Dances With Hippoptami

I think I'd like to file this under the World's Stupidest Headlines category

2009-07-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

From: LiveScience

Cannonballs Really Could Sink Ships, Study Finds

Long before the Navy used torpedoes, rockets and nuclear missiles to fire at the enemy, ship captains relied on more blunt weapons — cannonballs.

But how effective were cannonballs at sinking battleships? New research shows that cannon fire could have brought down at least one battleship, a recently discovered 19th-century warship that sank off the coast of Acre, Israel.

The ship's oak hull was unusually thick, leading researchers to question the possibility of cannonball penetration. Experimental firings of cannons at replicas of wooden warships have been carried out in other countries, but due to the cost and complexity of such experiments, they have been few and far between. In general, they were only firing demonstrations, and scientific data has not always been obtained. So it was still hard to tell for sure whether the cannonballs found in the wreck off the coast of Acre would have been capable of sinking this particular ship.

University of Haifa's Yaacov Kahanov, who studies maritime civilizations and underwater archaeology, developed a unique model along with his colleagues that enabled firing experiments to be carried out on a reduced scale, thereby reducing costs, and enabling controlled, measured and documented experimentation. Five scale models of the ship's hull, based on the archaeological findings, were constructed and fired at using an experimental gun to shoot steel balls at 225-1,100 mph (100-500 meters per second), modeling the cannon fire of the 19th century.

Despite the hull's strength, cannonballs penetrated it even at the lowest velocities.

The lower the velocity, the more energy was absorbed in causing damage to the hull, and the more the wood splintered, which would have caused more harm to the ship's personnel. The results of this experiment, Kahanov said, are of much significance to the study of the vessel and to the study of naval battles in this period.

Kahanov's colleagues on the analysis included additional researchers from the University of Haifa in Israel and from Rafael Advanced Defense Systems Ltd., a weapons developer for the Israel Defense Forces.

News From Chicago

2009-04-03T10:35:00.000-07:00

Featured today in Science Magazine. Click on the link below to be forwarded to the original article.

Oldest Stone Blades Uncovered

By Ann Gibbons
ScienceNOW Daily News
2 April 2009

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS--Paleoanthropologists working in Africa have discovered stone blades more than a half-million years old. That pushes the date of the earliest known blades back a remarkable 150,000 years and raises a question: What human ancestor made them?

Not long ago, researchers thought that blades were so hard to make that they had to be the handiwork of modern humans, who had evolved the mental wherewithal to systematically strike a cobble in the right way to produce blades and not just crude stone flakes. First, they were thought to be a hallmark of the late Stone Age, which began 40,000 years ago. Later, blades were thought to have emerged in the Middle Stone Age, which began about 200,000 years ago when modern humans arose in Africa and invented a new industry of more sophisticated stone tools. But this view has been challenged in recent years as researchers discovered blades that dated to 380,000 years in the Middle East and to almost 300,000 years ago in Europe, where Neandertals may have made them (ScienceNOW, 1 December 2008).

Now it appears that more than 500,000 years ago, human ancestors living in the Baringo Basin of Kenya collected lava stone cobbles from a riverbed and hammered them in just the right way to produce stone blades. Paleoanthropologists Cara Roure Johnson and Sally McBrearty of the University of Connecticut, Storrs, recently discovered the blades at five sites in the region, including two that date to between 509,000 and 543,000 years ago. "This is the oldest known occurrence of blades," Johnson reported Wednesday here at the annual meeting of the Paleoanthropology Society.

Johnson and McBrearty found the stone blades in a basalt outcrop known as the Kapthurin Formation, including four cores from which the blades were struck. "These assemblages would have been made by a different species of human," Johnson said. "Who were they?" The blades come from the same part of the formation where researchers have found two lower jaws that have been variously described as belonging to Homo heidelbergensis or H. rhodesiensis, human ancestors in Europe and Africa that predate the origin of our species, H. sapiens.

Regardless of the identity of the toolmakers, other researchers say that the discovery of blades this early suggests that these toolmakers were capable of more sophisticated behavior than previously thought, perhaps as a result of the last dramatic expansion of brain size in the human lineage about 600,000 years ago. "It's reflective of a major shift in human cognition," says Alison Brooks, a paleoanthropologist at George Washington University in Washington, D.C.

To convince most researchers that such a dramatic breakthrough really took place so early in human evolution, however, anthropologists will have to find more blades this ancient, says paleoanthropologist Rick Potts of the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C. Stay tuned: The search is already under way for more African blade runners.

The Snake, The Chicken and The Archaeologist

2009-03-22T09:49:00.001-07:00

Now many of you have heard my stories of fieldwork. Some are fantastic, some are farcical. Often times fieldwork enjoys a quiet rythem of sun up, work, sun down with very little excitement. However, there are moments which lead to the stories that have accumulated over the years starring a cast of characters from snakes to hippopotami. You never get in trouble when you first arrive. That is when you still have a more then healthy respect for the harshness of the environment and the wildlife. Soon, you fall in to a pattern of life and become more lax in how aware you are of what is around you. It is then that you often come face to face with a little reminder of where you are. I'm afraid to say that one of the new students thought I was sometimes exaggerating... You just wait. To this day, he still can't bring himself to talk about it.

This one isn't about me. Oh, I was there, but gratifyingly I was not the hapless victim of circumstance. This time.

It was my last day in the field before leaving for Nairobi. We were revisiting a site where I had done a surface collection of artifacts several years before. NB (for anonymity) was especially looking forward to this excursion because he had just done an analysis of the previous surface collection, but had never seen the site. In order to get there we had to hike a few km down the river bed and then find the overgrown path up the gorge to the top of the ridge. This is a long walk over unpleasant footing of cobbles or soft loose sand. We are cruising along, NB is to my left and we were talking about something inconsequential. Suddenly NB leaps into the air -

"F*ing Hell, Mother F... Shit... God Damn...." A veritable blue streak, which I can't do justice to here. Now honestly, I've never seen a person actually levitate before, but damn, it's possible. For underneath him was a small and very angry cobra. You see they really don't like it when you nearly step on them. Fortunately NB was wearing long pants and recognized at the last second what he almost put his foot on. The dun colored little snake (the smaller ones are more deadly) blended in with the cobbles we were walking over, and we all had our guard down. How things can turn deadly in an instant always takes your breath away, your heat stutters and the adrenaline kicks in. "Oh. My. God. Are you ok?" After the appropriate breather, we carried on.

The rest of the hike went along in comparable silence. Scanning the way ahead for any more unwelcome critters. A few hours later at lunch, I could no longer help myself. I looked over at NB and quipped "Still think I'm making it up?"

He smiled and said, "You know, right after I stopped swearing and could breathe again, that is the first thing I thought about." I couldn't help but to laugh. Guess you are going to start accumulating your own stories now.

The rest of the work day was long, but the journey back down the riverbed was uneventful. We were all on high alert. Across the road from the campground is a little shop that has the most coveted object around at 5 pm - cold soda, especially when you are out of water. We piled out of the truck and all ordered large sodas. We were soon joined by the other half of our group who had been up in the highlands that day. There aren't many benches and when you are this dirty it really doesn't matter if you sit on the cement stoop and we were soon joined by our friends. Of course this was followed by the innocent question "So, how was your day?"

NB looks at me and says, "You can tell them. I can't talk about it."

I was standing there leaning against the Land Rover explaining how poor NB had nearly stepped on the cobra. That is when the clucking started. Now goats and chickens are always foraging around hoping for a bit of this or that which someone might drop, but we are looking around and there isn't a chicken in sight. Sylvia, the teenage girl who often minds the shop for her parents, comes out of the shop also looking around. LH pauses, "It sounds like its coming from the trash can (positioned directly behind NB)."

Behind everyone's back, Sylvia tiptoed up to the can. She reached out, keeping well back and slowly lifted the lid of the can. In a flurry of feathers, a highly agitated chicken streaked out of the depths of the trash can. Fortunately for the chicken, NB's head was right there, and the somewhat flight challenged chicken decided to use it as a launching pad, leaving a trail of feathers in its wake. For the second time that day NB levitated shrieking "F*ing Hell, Mother F... Shit... God Damn...." Didn't see that coming...

Arms and legs were flailing in a way that can only be described as something between a goose-step march and a windmill - what you might expect from someone being attacked by an angry swarm of bees. Someone was having a bad day. He was already pretty tightly wound after thinking about his cobra encounter, only to be accosted by an unkempt chicken. Poor NB, impending heart failure for the second time in one day. I think I actually spit my soda out I was laughing so hard, as did just about everyone else. He will never, ever live that one down.

The chicken had apparently been peacefully sleeping in the can until we woke it with our chatter and it found itself trapped. I can't help but wonder how the chicken got in the garbage can in the first place?

Weather it is a cobra or a chicken, life in the field never stays boring for too long.

Seriously?

2009-03-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I am more alarmed about...

1) That they actually make wallpaper that says "i hate Laundry Rooms" (not my caps) or

2) That someone actually thought it was a good idea to use it!!!!

3) The the R is really funny font, so it actually looks like a P making it say "i hate Laundry Pooms"?

2009-03-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

Pub is closed by Monty Python grenade

Tony Bassett
19.03.09

BUILDINGS were evacuated, a street was cordoned off and a bomb disposal team called in after workmen spotted a suspicious object.

But the dangerous-looking weapon turned out to be the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, made famous in the 1975 film Monty Python And The Holy Grail.

Police and a fire crew were first on the scene in Shoreditch, east London, when water company workers found a copy of the film prop under a fire hydrant cover.

They evacuated a pub and another building in Tabernacle Street, while office staff in another building were stopped from leaving.

But when the bomb squad arrived, they quickly established there was no danger and the street was declared safe. In the film, the grenade was used to slaughter a killer rabbit. Python actor Eric Idle had filmgoers in stitches as he said: "Oh Lord. Bless this hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."

LOL

2009-03-19T08:02:00.001-07:00

This is a really amusing website Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Accident Prone (Episode 2)

2009-03-12T06:44:00.001-07:00

The cat and I have just reestablished whose territory my desk is. I've won this battle with only minor bleeding.

I've reclaimed my desk, the cats haven't killed anything unidentifiable lately, and it is still to cold for the hoi poloi to be out in the neighborhood. This leaves me a little short of new material. However, this is ME we are talking about so really there is no lack of material for a post. So sit back and get ready for the next episode of Accident Prone.

For the first few years of grad school I also worked at a bank. Business suit in the morning, dirty archaeologist in the afternoon. The rectangular lobby of the bank was flanked on one side with the teller line and on the other with glass fronted offices. I had just started work there and my mail box had been bombed with memos overnight. I have always been absorbed by the printed word. As a child my nose was constantly poked into some book or comic book. When I turned 16 I didn't know how to get to anywhere past a three mile radius of the house (the length of my attention span before getting bored, sticking my nose in a book, and tuning out the world), and of course this habit also lent itself to walking. I have a tendency to read and walk at the same time with obvious consequence for someone of my particular talents... That being said, I could not prolong looking at the contents of my mailbox even for the three minute walk to my office. As I strolled down the aisle of offices I became more and more absorbed into the letter detailing the current mortgage rate changes. As I turned to enter my assigned office BAM!!!! Followed by the sound of reverb as the shock wave traveled through the pane of glass. Now some would say that it was probably a good thing I was looking down - as it was my forehead that hit the glass, and I narrowly dodged a broken nose. However, as my luck would play out every other one of the customer service representatives just happened to be in my office trading some juicy new gossip. I'd like to say they waited to laugh until they made sure I was OK, but that might be a bit too generous. Within in a nanosecond everyone was doubled over choking out

"The look on your face...."

"Oh my god...."

"Can't breathe...." Between gasps for air.

Welcome to the workforce. Reputation established.

We sort of got into decorating the office in extravagant ways for every new holiday, painting the windows of the offices to advertise our savings/loan products in a holiday theme. This was in some ways nice, as down time could be spent painting windows rather then twiddling your thumbs waiting for the next customer to walk through the front door. At the front of the lobby was the phone desk. It was one of those regular industrial strength wooden office desks with drawers to the side. Attached to the left side running along the wall was one of those desk L-additions, with drawers on the left and no legs to the right where it was bolted (supposedly) to the other desk. This desk extension held the very large central phone for the branch office. I had phone duty that day and the phones were unusually quiet although the branch was full of people. We were decorating for Halloween, and one of my co-workers brought me several bags of fake cobwebs, construction paper and some plastic bats with instructions to "make a moon" and decorate the wall above my desk.

"Ok, sounds like fun." Right.

With my moon lovingly made, I kicked my shoes off and hopped up on my desk to start hanging things up. Everything was going smoothly on the left portion of the wall. Then I stepped to the right. This is the precise moment that I learned that my desk extension was not in fact bolted to to my desk. It gave out under my foot and all at once the branch phone was launched into the air, my desk chair took off of its own volition, and I commenced a swan dive directly onto my desk. Unable to restrain myself, and knowing how much it was going to hurt when I landed I yelled "Oh, SHIT!!!!!!" and then "Offff..." as all the air in my lungs got forced out as I landed on my stomach on top of my keyboard... There were these two old geezers in the end of the line, they managed to squeak out a "Are you OK?" to which I managed a nod, and then they lost it. I thought Angela (one of the tellers) was going to come over her teller window and run over. I managed to scramble up, right the desk, and retrieve my chair and shoes in that order. Both the manager and the assistant manager just happened to be in the vault during my little outburst of profanity, and for some reason not a single customer complained about my language... The two old geezers laughed their whole way through the line and out the door.

Reputation reaffirmed.

Accident Prone (Episode 1)

2009-03-11T06:18:00.000-07:00

I've been reading (with some hilarity) the recent accident exploits of a certain good friend (JMS) who has yet to completely internalize the much used (in my house) "freezer hop" so the frozen burrito takes out the dog and not her toe. This has inspired me to share a few historical anecdotes regarding my own clutztastic moments.

I took my first job doing archaeology ages ago, we were conducting archaeological sensitivity testing on three national guard bases - basically digging a lot of holes in the mosquito infested woods. We began by working out in the open at Camp Rell, which is situated on a beautiful flat promontory abutting the sea, in other words prime real estate for Native American habitation. Unfortunately this meant that it was also the perfect place for the parade ground. We laid out a grid and started digging regular holes on the parade ground. Our pits were 50 cm square and more then a meter deep. Despite trying to carefully replace the grass - it always dehydrated and died, resulting in these unsightly patches of dead grass at regular 20 meter intervals across the parade ground. Now if you really want to piss of a grounds keeper -- kill his grass. I swear I still have visions of Bill Murray when I think of this guy. He would wait for us to leave and then break out the HUGE tractor pulled mower and mow down all our stakes that we used to mark out our grid.

It was because of this that I didn't see the open hole. I was walking along with two others flanking each side of me. In my own defense - no one else mentioned the gaping hole in the ground either. I stepped out with my left foot and suddenly there was no ground... Amazingly quickly this produced a SPLAT, and there I was. A perfect face-plant: one leg was dangling free in the hole, three other limbs splayed out all around me and I had a mouthful of grass. The moment couldn't have been a more perfect comic strip panel if I'd planned it. To add insult to injury - the oddity of having the parade ground dug up had attracted an constant audience for us. So, as I managed to extract the grass from my teeth I also noticed the line up of soldiers doubled over in hysterics. Lucky me.

The same parade ground claims another victim.. (Oh wait, the same victim. Surprised? Probably not.) I had just finished digging and drawing the soil profile for the latest test pit, and we were about to fill it in. I realized just in time that I'd dropped my tape measure in the bottom of the pit and needed to retrieve it. Unfortunately, this particular pit was over a meter deep. I did not ponder this little maneuver long. I just grabbed a handful of grass with one hand and leaned in the pit with the other. Now I WAS thinner then but grass is not much of a lifeline, even if it is well manicured grass. Of course the clod just ripped out and I went headfirst into the pit, with one arm in front of me and one pinned to my side. I was unable to exit this position. I just love to imagine what this must have looked like at the time - two legs sticking out of the top of a pit and waggling as fait cries of "Shit, I'm stuck!" and "Get me out of here!" could be faintly heard to the surface dwellers.

Someone whom shall remain unnamed had to grab me by the belt and bodily haul me out of the hole, asking,

"What the hell did you do?"

Talk about embarrassing (I had a slight crush on this guy too, which basically means I'd make an ass of myself constantly around him).

Just to bring this point home the next summer we were both doing geology field school. We were going to be climbing around a lot of really steep drop offs trying to work out the geology. The aforementioned gentleman looks right at me and said, "Please try not to fall down anywhere life threatening." Mental head slap.

I seem to have a knack for embarrassing spills, but I usually manage to control my spastic behavior when it might have the potential to actually kill me. Instead we were walking down a forest path - a nice, wide path clear of both roots and rocks. That is the moment I went ass over teakettle. Yep, green backpack went one way, clipboard another way, limbs akimbo - I suddenly found myself looking at the sky.

After picking up my backpack, my clipboard and peeling me off the path, he simply asked "What exactly did you trip over?"

"Ow, I have no idea..." I mumbled.

Perhaps this is life just keeping me humble, or just giving the rest of world an excuse for some hilarity. I'm always good for a bit of that.

Shameless Plug

2009-03-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is a shameless plug and a desire to revisit my youth. For those of you who grew up with the local music scene in Mystic, CT. You know who you are. You should check out this wonderful site: MYSTIC MUSIC ARCHIVE

See you in the mosh pit at the German Club... (if only in your head).

Them Bones

2009-03-09T06:53:00.001-07:00

Alas, I have been lax, but I promise - I haven't dropped of the radar again. So, time for a quick update (or not so quick, its been a busy two weeks).

I was luck enough to travel to NYC for three days to attend a paleoanthropology conference at the American Museum of Natural History in honor of Darwin's 200th birthday. This was great for a number of reasons.

1) I had not yet had the opportunity to see the new Human Evolution exhibit at the AMNH. It was nice to get the chance to at least breeze through it. Note here I do say breeze... It was a weekend and no one can tell me that Museum visitor-ship is down. It was so crowded you could barely navigate. So, I'm going to have to go back to actually get a chance to crawl through it slowly. Here are a few highlights.

This has always been a favorite. It is a reconstruction of the two Australopithecus afarensis walking across a volcanic ash leaving behind the famous trail of footprints at Laetoli. Except they forgot the third one (the baby) that was walking the in footprints of the larger (male?), but I do digress. This one is also a favorite of my friend Nick, he jokes that the arm around the shoulders also proves that they went to the movies.

This is the famous Nariokotome Boy. An almost complete, 11 year old male Homo erectus. This is one of my favorite fossils, one of the first species to really resemble us and this fossil proved that. I got really excited one time in Nairobi as a colleague was actually working with this fossil and I got to see it up close and personal. It was truly amazing to hold a piece of this young gentleman in my hands and contemplate that 1.6 million years had passed since this boy had walked on earth, and yet he was found again.

Finally there was the neanderthals. They are fascinating. Just think, we aren't closely related (we did not evolve from them) but we are so similar in so many ways. I guess I am still captivated by the idea that of those first humans walking into Europe for the first time and encountering Neanderthals. It must have been quite a shock for both! They were one of the first species to bury their dead intentionally, and the connotations are pretty astounding. One of the byproducts of this practice is that many are exceptionally preserved and among them are many young individuals such as this small child (right, adult left, obviously not to scale!). This is so rare when looking at fossils. Many of the neanderthals characteristics (such as the heavy browridge) until sexual maturity. So, when you look at a child they appear even more human.

Ok so enough of the science lesson.

2) We ended up having to cut out of NYC a bit early because a nor-easter was closing in. By the time it finished dumping snow we had more then 10 inches. It is hard to totally hate anything that has the power to make my neighborhood both beautiful and quiet, but I'll tell you I don't appreciate the shoveling (and neither does my back!). This is the time of year that drives me totally batty. It snows a ton, then warms up to 60 degrees and melts it all, only to call for snow again. Can we pick a season? Please?

3) On top of all this my parents have been laid low. Dad picked up something at school and it metastasized into a case of bacterial pneumonia that was severe enough to give him a heart erythema and land him in the hospital. Not good. My Mother managed to succumb to something similar and has a bad case of bronchitis. The doctor gave her an antibiotic that in turn gave her hallucinations. While this may have been amusing to some, lets just say my Mom is definitely not one of the acid crowd... I stayed up there this weekend to help out around the house, disinfect, make sure there was no more psychedelic episodes and visit my Dad at the hospital. Luckily both of them seem to be on the mend again. I am not fond of these not so gentle reminders of mortality.

How is it?

2009-02-24T13:55:00.000-08:00

How is it that a doctors appointment an a few "simple" errands can completely kill an entire day?

I still have to write my midterm, and I fear that the roving sickness that has engulfed campus for weeks is finally heading my way. I'm currently trying to fend of a sore-ish throat with tea, but have only really managed to scald myself. Why am I not surprised.

Actually it is par for the course that I should catch the bug now, as I actually have travel plans for the weekend. I'm off to NYC to a paleoanthropology conference at the American Museum of Natural History in honor of Darwin's birthday. I'm hoping to do some schmoozing for a new Postdoctoral position, and do not want it interrupted by an overbearing need to blow my nose!

Well, now that I have essentially done nothing but complain I guess I need to write that midterm...

Soup du jour

2009-02-20T06:55:00.000-08:00

I am currently the organizer for our departmental lecture series. This means finding people to fill the slots, organizing their arrival, and then the dinner following the talk. This week was crazy as we actually hosted our regular speaker on Thursday as well as a special visitor on Tuesday. So I have had a couple of really late nights this week.

I usually enjoy the schmoozy dinners after the speakers, not only is the company usually pretty good but I love to eat out: a) the food is usually better b) I don’t actually have to cook it and c) I don’t have to deal with the aftermath. Tuesday night we went to our usual haunt, we hadn’t been for quite awhile. The evening just got off on the wrong foot. We walked in and the young woman waitressing had never heard of our reservation. The usually sparsely populated restaurant was already nearing capacity before we requested a table for eight. She pulled herself together (and some tables) and got us seated. Then another one of our faculty walked in, sat down to say hello and caught our waitress’s eye and said,

“When you get a chance another group is coming in momentarily there will be nine…”

The look on her face was absolutely classic - deer in the headlights. She managed to stammer out,

“What?”

This is a small place, now full and she was alone and obviously new on the job. I looked up a moment later and saw her frantically calling for reinforcements.

Quite some time later we managed to get our appetizers and as I passed the plates around the table there was a sort of fracas at the other end of the table, of course at the time, no one would actually tell me what was going on. The next day in class as we were settling down, one of my colleagues said,

“So did anyone ever tell what happened at dinner?”

“No”

Apparently as my colleague went to pass the next plates around the table he revealed a very large cockroach in the classic dead bug pose one the plate underneath. This of course illicited a collective groan as about everyone around the table had been at dinner (in one of the two groups) and had obliviously eaten with gusto.

I guess I’ve learned to look at things relatively, especially after spending so much time in Kenya. So, I managed to rationalize this pretty quickly.

“My plate was “clean” when I got it. At least it wasn’t in my food…”

You delude yourself however you need to and you can get away with this as long as you don’t think about it too hard. On one of my previous trips to Kenya we were having a “nice” dinner at the Baringo Lodge while we hosted some visitors. Now I don’t know why this was supposed to be “nicer,” I would rather eat our cooks food any day of the week. My friend Boniface and I were at the end of the table and as I went to take a big bite of stew he grabbed my arm to stop me with the spoon halfway to my mouth. As my gaze settled on my spoon, my eyes got as big as saucers. The whole (rather large) soup spoon was taken up by a well marinated cockroach. Now if that had happened a few years ago you would have heard the shriek in Connecticut. As it were I managed to stifle the squawk, don’t as me how. Needless to say neither Boniface nor I were particularly interested in having any more stew. That is one of the few times I actually have left food I my plate in Africa and gladly went to bed hungry. Frankly I was pretty happy last year when the Lodge was closed and I wouldn’t have to risk finding any legs in my food. So now you better understand my ability to compartmentalize, “At least it wasn’t in my food,” on Tuesday night. I think I’ve found a new restaurant to treat our guests, at least until I forget.

Ok, Seriously?

2009-02-18T10:17:00.001-08:00

So, I just had a vending machine attack. Yes, I know I don’t need chips, and I know my hips don’t need chips, but I had to have chips…

Fell off that wagon.

So I’m looking at the selection and what do I see:

Burger King Ketchup and French Fries Flavored Potato Snacks.

Seriously? A french fry flavored potato chip with faux ketchup? At that point shouldn’t you just go and get the french fries and enjoy the real thing?

Another example of the “flavored food” epidemic our cuisine seems to be going through. Right up there with the Clamato and Lime Flavored Budweiser that I saw in a convenience store on the way back from North Carolina.

In a word… Disgusting.

Another Sign of (Eeeek) Adulthood?

2009-02-18T09:51:00.000-08:00

Well most of you who know me well, also know that I’ve had graying hair since I turned sixteen. Thanks for those genes Dad (although most of my genes are really pretty good ☺). When I was younger I liked to use this as an excuse to dye my hair decidedly unnatural colors. Now I was never as daring as my more free spirited friend Mary, so I didn’t go for the Manic Panic electric blue, but the slightly more conservative Purple Passion.

My Mother was a best less then pleased with this development. The first time I pulled the ultra violet treatment, was unfortunately just a few days before my Grandmother passed away. My Mother was as mad as a wet hen that I would be at the funeral with what could only be described as a “grape colored” head. Much to my amusement as we all stood in the receiving line at the funeral many of my Grandmother’s blue-haired and stylishly coiffed friends kept complementing my hair. Seeing that I was still an upstart teenager, every time I got one of these complements I had to waggle my eyebrows at my Mother (standing beside me) and point out that it really wasn’t so bad now was it? I swear you could almost see the steam coming out of her ears…

About two weeks ago I got a bit nostalgic for my tendencies toward adventurous hair color, and I was more then overdue for a re-dye (we are talking two inches of roots here).

“That it! I’m buying the Black Cherry dye!

I’m sick of having boring hair.”

Um, right, can you guess how this turned out? My now, mostly gray, roots turned out bright (sparkly bright) purple (think neon sign) and the rest was dark brown in some spots and dark purple in others. I had failed to work the dye complete through my hair which is now much longer then I am used to. My head looked like a patchwork quilt, and not a nice one at that.

You see, the bright purple factor would have been ok by itself – if only it was the same bright purple all over… The worst part was that I needed to actually wait a few weeks before trying to correct the problem as I didn’t want to over-dye my head and make my hair all fall out. That’s a solution that’s waaaaaay worse then the problem.

I have hence bought boring brown dye and employed the assistance of a friend to make sure I actually got the dye where it belongs and I am happy to report that I no longer look like a patchwork quilt (even I’m back to kinda boring…).

The weekend and the obvious

2009-02-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

So this weekend was great. A good friend invited me to join her in going to see Jewel in the Fox Theater at Foxwoods on friday night. Not only was it a good chance to catch up with a friend, but the concert was fantastic. Jewel's music has always been good, but she is one of those rare artists whose live performance are actually better then listening to her CD's. Her new CD has a more country flair (think Allison Krauss) and has definitely moved onto the to purchase list.

Saturday evening I went to the Frank Maratta auto show with Dan. Although this show has more tuners and imports then my taste usually includes it was still a nice night out, and a chance to spend some time with my husband!

On top of all this I actually got all of the reading I needed to do for the school week done as well some errands all and all a good deal.

This morning when I arrived at the lecture hall to teach, I found a bunch of these postcards on the podium. If they are serious I'd be a little frightened but other then that they are hysterical.

Humor in Science

2009-02-05T09:49:00.001-08:00

So the rule is this whomever finds a new species is given the privilege of coming up with the name for that new species. The only catch being that the name must fit with in the standard system of binomial nomenclature originally developed by Carolus Linneaus. Many people who find themselves in this position name their species after famous individuals in their field of science, some choose names related to the place the items were discovered or the indigenous groups that live there, but others... they seek to revere or to ridicule (with a sense of humor).

There are a few I just love:

The paleontologist who loved 70's punk who found a few new species of ancient trilobytes and named them: Sid viciousi and Johnny rotteni.

Quentin Wheeler, an Entomologist at London's Museum of Natural History, and one of his students discovered several new species of Slime Mold Beetles.

They had to use the already named genus Adathidium but chose the species names,

are you ready for this....

A. vaderi

and even better...

A. bushi, A. rumsfeldi, and A. cheneyi

What is even better is that although this, I'm sure, was intended as a slight it earned Wheeler a call from the President telling him he was honored (WHAT?).

For more click here

Titanoboa

2009-02-05T09:14:00.001-08:00

Today was such a wonderful day for news... I have to add more.

Today researchers in the journal Nature announced the discovery of the world's largest snake, Titanoboa. This critter was 13 meters long and tipped the scales at over 1100 kilos! Coming of age after the extinction of the dinosaurs this would have been one hell of a fearsome terrestrial predator!!!

(http://www.nature.com/news/2009/090204/full/news.2009.80.html)

I've gone about full circle in life, from loving snakes as a kid (and calling them sneaks), to being terrified of them, to only being terrified of those that can actually kill me (working in Africa has tempered a lot of childhood fears). I have to say I just love the name assigned to this particular species. I want to find something 1) so amazing and 2) so I can come up with a really groovy name. Its also timely as I was just telling my class about the adaptive radiation of the primates where life in the trees provided a wealth of open habitat and few predators - Just don't take a nap on the ground...

Life, etc.

2009-02-05T08:32:00.001-08:00

Life today is filled with annoying automated telephone systems, banks, and online registrations systems that refuse to function properly. I've wasted an entire morning on complete bullcrap. However I caught a few gems on the news this morning that cause me to pause and think... Since my life is pretty boring I thought I would share them.

1. There was a story on this morning about how independent financial fraud investigator, Harry Markopolos tried for years to get the securities and exchange commission to investigate Bernard Madoff's investment schemes. Turns out Markopolos was right. Despite handing the SEC Madoff on a "Silver Platter" they dropped the ball and Madoff's giant pyramid scheme collapsed costing innocent investors $50 million . (See full story at: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100272812) It seems the SEC more investing in its turf wars then doing their job. Even after the collapse Markopolos is doggedly on Madoff's tail exposing that his scheme goes even farther then previously known.

My question is this: Why isn't Markopolos running the SEC?

2. The science fiction collection of Forrest Ackerman (coiner of the term "sci-fi") has died and his enormous collection of memorabilia is being auctioned off. This includes a signed first edition of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

I would about kill to get my paws on that book, but alas my bidding power is a bit below par for that one.

New Look

2009-02-04T09:37:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to make this blog more a reflection of me then a standard template. I'm not good enough to write my own from scratch so I'm spending countless time fiddling with the templates and various Adobe programs in order to try and make something decent looking. I'm still revamping all my links they were all lost when I "updated" my page. So if you disappeared it isn't because I suddenly don't like you... just be patient.

Snow! Yuck!

2009-02-03T15:04:00.001-08:00

One of my best friends lives in Tennessee now, and is constantly wishing for a "real" snowstorm. My title is in direct response to her "Snow! Yay!" post of late. I am on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. I'm done with snow and can't wait to move away from it all. It seems we are getting more then our fair share of it this year.

Not long after I arrived at work it began to snow. Despite the fact that they closed school early it still took 1.5 hours to get home. I also managed to go ass over teakettle trying to walk to my car. All of a sudden, plop! There I was sitting in the snow, much to my posterior's dismay. On the humorous side I did leave a sort of ridiculous half a snow angel (butt and legs only) for everyone else to admire or take as a warning (whichever) on their way to the car.

Spring please? Damn that groundhog anyway.

Zombie Alert

2009-01-29T09:33:00.000-08:00

From KXAN.com

Construction signs warn of zombies

Hackers change public safety message

Last Edited: Thursday, 29 Jan 2009, 11:16 AM CST Created On: Wednesday, 28 Jan 2009, 8:29 PM CST

Shannon Wolfson

AUSTIN (KXAN) - Austin drivers making their morning commute were in for a surprise when two road signs on a busy stretch of road were taken over by hackers. The signs near the intersection of Lamar and Martin Luther King boulevards usually warn drivers about upcoming construction, but Monday morning they warned of "zombies ahead."

Robber Goat

2009-01-27T11:43:00.000-08:00

Nigeria police hold 'robber' goat

Many Nigerians believe that magicians can turn themselves into goats

Police in Nigeria are holding a goat handed to them by a vigilante group, which said it was a car thief who had used witchcraft to change shape.

For the full story consult the BBC at:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7846822.stm

Pegamoose?

2009-01-27T10:51:00.001-08:00

Ok, so everyone has heard of Pegasus, but a Pegamoose?

I often am around and about and see things I just have to have a picture of. Although my cell phone has a camera - it sucks. Plain and simple. I'm excited now because I got a new digital camera (refurbished) that is small enough to slip in my purse. Now when I see a gem I can document it, case in point this sign below. Hilarious.

Denial

2009-01-27T10:34:00.000-08:00

So one of my new years resolutions was to actually get back to regularly blogging. Not because I feels some sort of obligation, but because I miss it. However looking back and seeing that the last post was also a "recap" freaked me out so I put it off yet again. So... I'm going to utilize another well heeled tool. Denial.

Anyhow, the long and the short... Had a good semester last year, and the new one is already started. Had a nice trip home to NC to see family. My first paper is officially in print, the second is submitted, and the third is in process. The job market is still as bleak as the economy but I haven't given up hope. I can likely stay in my current post for another year so things could be far more dire. That is the the all the acknowledgment I'm going to give to all the elapsed time since I last wrote, I just can't make up for it (hence the denial part).

'Nuff said the next post will carry on with a few gems I observed on my trip to NC.

Recap

2008-07-12T07:49:00.001-07:00

Ok, I’ve been away from this blog for so long that I’m really at a loss for where to start again. It is sort of like hooking up with an old friend after a long time has passed, how do you cover all that lost time? Now I know you are thinking – “Its only been two months…” I’ve been so busy over those two months that looking back it almost seems more like a year. So I’ll give you the quick recap and then hopefully I’ll have the time to go back and actually write out some of the more interesting moments.

May brought the end of the semester and the end of the three class teaching load. Of course that meant giant piles of exams, papers and labs to crank through. I also taught a May semester summer course. (Out of the frying pan and into the fire). All the time I’ve been worried about not having gotten a job for the fall and wondering how I was going to survive and whether I would have to give up on archaeology after 8 years of postgraduate education.

I had to decide whether I could somehow manage to do a field season in Kenya while unemployed. If I didn’t go I would be shooting myself in the proverbial foot (missing a great career opportunity). If I go, the financial situation could get more then a little dicey. I had to take a total leap of faith and decided to go. Two days before leaving for Kenya I received tentative news that I would in fact have a PostDoc for the fall. So I hopped a plane for the Dark Continent with a relatively clear conscience. I got there ok, of course my baggage did not…

Spent five weeks in mortal combat with two recalcitrant Land Cruisers and dodging hippos while trying to get some serious work done. More on that later. The day before leaving the field I got killer food poisoning. Hooray for Cipro. Made it home safe, with all my stuff. Sweet.

Now I’m excavating up at the Mashantucket Pequot reservation for the remainder of the summer. For the first days, I hurt in places I didn’t even realize had muscles, but I’m getting better now. Soon I’ll add my running regimen back in, and hopefully I’ll survive that.

So, that’s the last two months in a nutshell. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to fill in the gaps along the way (between shovelfuls of dirt).

Ciao.

Another day in the neighborhood

2008-04-30T06:44:00.001-07:00

So, life in my neighborhood has always consisted of generally long periods of low level neighborly irritation punctuated by the absurd – such as naked neighbor (a story for another day, if you don’t already know).

Winter passed relatively quietly, it usually does with everyone locked in to hide from the cold, but alas, the warmer weather has begun to return and the proverbial shit has seriously hit the fan. The last two weeks have been eventful to say the least.

It began with the apartment building across the street catching on fire. It was only minor, but the street was blocked all night. A few days later I was sitting outside correcting quizzes, trying to enjoy the sunshine. A big silver Armada and a black Impala rolled to a stop in front of the house and about six really big guys piled out. This was the first cause for alarm – no one in my neighborhood has cars like that. They proceed to bang on the all the doors of the house that we share our driveway with. Just then the back apartment opens, my neighbor deciding at the moment to take out the cat litter, only to suddenly find himself in handcuffs. What?!? Now I am lurking behind my shed trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I hear them yelling at him for being an unregistered sex offender! Great…. It even made the papers, along with a lovely expose on the (rather alarming) statistics for unregistered offenders in the state of CT.

As if that wasn’t enough, exactly one week later, most of the neighborhood is sound asleep. Well we were all woken up by a loud “pop, pop” and shouting. Yeah that would be gunfire. Fun. Cops were wandering around for a while looking for anyone who might have gotten perforated. Saturday morning was when Dan discovered the shell casings on our front walk a mere 20 feet from the house. That did little to make me feel better. The police officer actually had the audacity to say that moving wasn’t going to solve the problem, that you couldn’t escape it anymore. Hmmm, I don’t seem to recall ANYONE ever firing a gun from my front walk when I lived in Pomfret, Mystic or Hampton… at least the hicks in Hampton had good aim, and they were usually shooting at cans in the back yard – not at each other. Quite the induction to spring, here’s to getting it out of the system and welcoming a quite summer. Please?

The Anti-Blogger

2008-04-10T06:54:00.001-07:00

Well, despite actually getting several of my friends hooked on blogging, I seem to have dropped off the radar. I guess it is time that I addressed the silence. The thing is that I enjoy blogging, quite a bit actually, except that when I started this I vowed not to use it as a forum to gripe – no one wants to read that.

So the long and the short of it is this… It has been a hard year. I am definitely working harder now then when I was finishing my dissertation, and let me tell you it is far less rewarding. I am still waiting, as patiently as possible, to find out if I will have a job come next fall. I am generally a very patient person, sometimes I can be downright dogged, but everyone has their limits. The reality is that I just do not deal well psychologically with uncertainty. If I knew that I would be guaranteed a faculty position in one more year, I might be able to hold out. The thought of going through another school year like this one only to fail in the job search again is almost more than I can handle. Consequently, I’ve begun to ponder some serious life changes.

I find it frightening to consider leaving the field of archaeology after coming this far, but one thing not one can ever take away is the achievements I earned this far. I hate failing. When I was a kid, I wasn’t overly athletic. I hated being that kid who was not picked for the team; I hated not being able to do something and being afraid to try for fear of failing. I hated living in my own little shell. I can point to one moment in my life and say that is where I woke up and found my self-confidence. I stopped caring about being liked or disliked and I stopped being afraid of trying. Instead I developed the “You think I can’t do it, just watch me” attitude. I stopped being the timid little girl and took life by the horns. I might not have been the best as sports, but I definitely developed an aggressive, competitive streak. Much later in life, doing fieldwork in Kenya presented me with so many more challenges and fears to conquer, and I did. I think this is why I feel so miserable when thinking about accepting a career change. I feel like I am giving up – and that is something I haven’t done since I stepped out of the halls of Pomfret Community School for the last time in 1988.

Just in case you worry that “You think I can’t do it, just watch me” attitude might be disappearing – I’ve turned it something else – running. Yes, me. Running (I did a mile and a half yesterday). For those of you who know me that is pretty self-evident.

Quote of the Day

2008-03-06T05:43:00.000-08:00

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. - Larry Hardiman

I’m afraid I don’t have much to report, other then the slow recovery from ten days of the flu. Of course now I’m bogged down in all the work that piled up while I was unable to anything except lie in my bed and groan.

The sun is managing to peak out – hopefully it is a harbinger of spring. This means it is time to start walking again. In this neighborhood that usually means plenty of fodder for the old blog. Here’s to spring!

Snow Day

2008-02-22T12:39:00.001-08:00

Usually I bitch about the weather in New England. Frankly I hate the friggin cold. Occasionally however you can get me to say I love the snow – when it results in a snow day. I miserably rolled out of bed at 5:30 this morning bemoaning my fate. Looked out the window at the fresh blanket of snow and headed for the computer. Yes!!!! All classes cancelled today due to inclement weather. I quickly found my way back to my still warm bed, eternally thankful for my reprieve. I guess if you live in Florida – you don’t get snow days. Now I have a reason to stay home and catch up on my work. I think my cats have forgotten who I am I’ve been home so little lately. I can’t think of anything better (until I have to shovel…).

UFO

2008-02-08T17:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, I just found one of those unidentifiable objects on the floor that strikes fear into the heart of any woman. WHAT IS THAT???? Next you find yourself leaning over it going through a mental litany only a cat owner or mother of a small child could possibly conceive

“Is it poop?”

“No. If it isn’t, do I want to know what it is? Probably not.”

“Animal, vegetable or mineral?”

“Definitely animal. Oh God I really can’t handle more frightening mouse parts right now, please not the mouse parts… “

Where’s the tissues? (this is why women are stronger then men, for example, I don’t know any man brave enough to confront the really scary stuff that accumulates in the drain basket in the sink…)

Phew, its safe. A glace at the coffee table brings recognition. It seems my darling husband left his dinner plate on the coffee table last night complete with the piece of steak gristle he found inedible. Guess Simba thought it was inedible too, after he decided to steal it.

That’s my UFO (unidentifiable food object) of the day!

The sort of dumb-ass thing you only do on a dare…

2008-01-18T08:03:00.000-08:00

So the first night we were in North Carolina we went to East Coast Wings and Grille for dinner. The menu sported the insanity wing. Yes, singular – you only get one, AND you have to sign a waiver to get it. That should have been a sign. Big, flashing, neon sign saying DON’T DO THIS DUMBASS!

So, Dan, Kenneth and Brandy decided to try the wing, you got your picture put up on the wall if you actually ate it. There weren’t actually that many people up on the wall – that should have been another sign.

Now, I really like hot food and I can usually hang with the big boys when it comes to hot food. However, I guess I’ve been lulled into a false sense of security in the north, where when you ask a restaurant to make something spicy they simply ignore you, afraid that they will overdo it and you won’t be able to eat your dinner (and therefore will refuse to pay for it). Now I know better.
Dan had a run in once with some pretty serious wings at Olympic, he said there were fumes coming off them that nearly made you choke. This was in the back of my mind when the three little paper boxes with one wing each arrived. I asked Brandy if I could smell one, there were no fumes, and it didn’t even smell serious. So, dumbass that I am, I asked to split it with her.
So she cut off half and gave it to me. I got a bite sized piece about one and a half inches long. I popped it in my mouth, chewed – nothing – swallowed – OH MY GOD (doesn’t even cover it). I have never experienced pain like that before in my life – not the allergic to niacin incident, not breaking my leg – not anything. The worst part was that you think it’s fine – it takes time to kick in and by then you have already swallowed it – trouble…

So the scene around the table is this: I was dying, realizing how wrong I was, and just trying to keep my cool. I ate the sour cream from my dinner, and then I started in on the ranch dressing. Sarah said she though I was ok till she saw me take the remainder of the ranch dressing and smear it all over my lips. Poor Brandy was about one step from total hyperventilation. It was so bad that the heat permeated your entire body.

Kenneth was silently crying. I couldn’t see Daniel.

Next thing I hear is “OH MY GO MY FREAKING EARS!!!!!” – Brandy

This didn’t strike me a humorous at the time, as I was experiencing the same pain, and was really focused the time when maybe, just maybe life wouldn’t suck as much – I mean when was the last time you saw me drink a glass of milk?

However the “freakin ears” comment struck her brothers as particularly funny despite the pain. Daniel managed to laugh and snort iced tea & insanity hot wing through his nose. That is NOT somewhere I would want the spice from that hot wing anywhere near! From Brandy’s point of view this was just desserts for laughing at her. How he could laugh was beyond me...

Somehow I managed to survive by eating ice continuously for about 1 hour afterwards. The ice lowered my body temperature so much I was shivering but I didn’t feel cold because my insides were on fire. My mouth cooled off finally but my stomach was on fire for 24 hours. The best description I can come up with is flaming indigestion caused by drinking a bottle of Draino and then lighting a match. It took us all a day or so to get over that – and I didn’t even eat the whole thing!!

Of course news travels fast in this family – I didn’t live that one down the whole trip. “Anyone want hot wings?” Now that it is all in the past – I definitely see the humor in the situation – especially the “freaking ears” comment (sorry Brandy, don’t kill me). I wish I had time to go back and see the pictures on the wall – I’m sure mine is not flattering, seeing as I really had very little control over my facial muscles at the time and any attempt at smiling was simply out of the question.

Fishcapades

2007-12-27T12:57:00.000-08:00

I’ve always loved aquariums, fish and all that. I generally prefer to watch fish rather then eat them. However, I haven’t always been particularly capable of actually maintaining that idyllic tank. I’ve gone through several permutations of trying to maintain a fish tank. I’m going to share something I wrote several years ago (before I started recording instances like this in a blog) about my first attempt at a fish tank. It’s called Fishcapades:

Fishcapades

OK, decided to fulfill the yearning to get a tiny fish tank, I got a few small fish and a really pretty female Beta, the only problem was that the beta was sick. Of course I don't really know much about fish.... so here it goes.

I went back to the store and described what was going on, she was lethargic, spitting out her food and fuzzy, fish aren't supposed to be fuzzy - leave that to the cat....

I was told to get her out of the tank fast or she would kill the others, so by the time I got home she was nearly dead, the tiniest other fish got sick a day later, but the other two were fine. After a week with them not getting sick, I went back to the store and they told me it was safe to replace her....

Fish #2 A day later he started acting funny - oh no, not again.... So I got on the computer and looked up Beta disease. They either had Ick or White Spot disease, most likely both. So off I went to the pet store to get fish antibiotics, yes folks, antibiotics.... for fish.....

The directions said I had to completely replace the water in the tank and rinse everything clean so I took out the fish and had them in a measuring cup, Beta in one the small fish in another. I cleaned everything out and let the water acclimate to room temperature and now it was time to put the fish back in the tank....

To do this you need to acclimate them to the same temperature as the tank but floating the cup in the tank for a half hour, then add some tank water wait some more and then put the fish in. So this tank has a tiny opening and I couldn't fit both measuring cups in and didn't want to spend hours acclimating the fish, so I put them all in the same cup thinking they came home that way it wouldn't matter... So I turned away to do some homework...

A few minutes later I get up and decide to check on the fish, I look in the cup and count 1, 2, .... where's #3? My thought process goes on… Not in the big tank, not in the cup, did the beta eat him? No he wouldn't fit in his mouth whole… where the hell is the fucking fish??!!?? Then bang out of nowhere a fish comes hurtling through the air and smacks me in the forehead as I'm bending over the tank. Of course I let out a scream... what the hell, no he's flipping around on the carpet covered in cat hair and some stray fish food.

Oh MY GOD... I run for the bathroom to get the fish net... run back to the office and try to get the fish off the floor and into the net, run back to the bathroom and grab the cup throw some water and drop the fish in, and now I'm trying to figure out how to get the cat hair out of the cup without accidentally dumping the fish down the drain. I set the cup down to go get the other one to get some safer tank water and look in the measuring cup.....1 fish, OH GOD DAMMIT where's the other @*$#& fish?!!! On the carpet of course.... back to the bathroom for the fish net repeat process.

Now I'm thinking that they are all going to die because the healthy fish are covered in cat hair and the beta is getting furry. Great, what a fiasco. The next morning I go in the office and the Beta is dead (figures) and the other two fish are swimming around like nothing ever happened. These are some seriously hearty fish... evolution at its best. Well I think I'm just going to get a dang gold fish this time, it's hard to kill them....

Don't you wish you could have been a fly on the wall, I would love to have a picture of the expression on my face when that fish came out of nowhere and smacked me in the forehead....

Postscript
What I didn’t share was the fish’s names: Larry (beta) his brother Daryl, and his other brother Daryl (the two identical stripers). Of course the second time Larry died it kinda killed the joke. I was left with the two Daryls for quite some time.

I went through several more tries with different types of low tech fish setups. Dan got me a hydroponic peace Lilly with a beta in the vase. That lasted until our unfortunate neighbors who were feeding our cat accidentally turned off the furnace instead of the basement lights and the beta got to cold and expired. Unfortunately for me I had to clean out the half decayed and furry fish out of the vase later because the Lilly was alive and I felt way too guilty throwing the whole thing away…

Finally after all this my friend Liz gave me a real tank setup and I’ve had some further adventures. After the remaining geriatric goldfish expired I decided to switch to fresh water tropicals.

Back to 2007
We still have fish, but now we are down to one…
I stared with three African cichlids and a sucker fish. I was feeding them regular fish food and not too much was happening – at least there were no disasters. One day Dan decided to buy them a treat – Krill. It is really amazing how fast fish will grow if given a nutritional boost.

The Jack Dempsey grew astoundingly fast, and with his girth, his aggression grew as well. Suddenly you would notice that there was one less fish in the tank. But, there was no floaters, no sinkers, and no fuzzies. Jack ate them all – and now only he is left. He is probably over about 6 inches long now and actually kinda scary. You see he has teeth, and he knows how to use them obviously as his war of extermination went kinda poorly for his tank mates. Should you really be able to see teeth on your pet fish? All I can say is so much for the idyllic tank of swimming tropical fish. I’m afraid to buy any more fish (afraid they would just end up as REALLY expensive fish food) and the one I have just sleeps in his castle all day, so he’s about as much fun to watch as watching grass grow.

About six months ago I tried to take the fish out of the tank so I could clean and move it. I won’t be trying that again any time soon. Even with the new jumbo fish net he was flopping about so violently it resulted in mass amounts of water on the floor and I almost had a REALLY unpleasant revisit of the fish to the forehead moment (except this one weights 1+ lbs.).

Maybe someday I’ll try a salt water tank, with happy friendly fish like clown fish and angel fish. It’s likely to be awhile, this is one hearty fish and I don’t want to try moving him again, Ever.

Because Life Can Be Stranger Then Fiction

2007-12-13T12:21:00.000-08:00

Just to proove once again that life is just as whacked out as anything Hollywood can come up with:

Thieves Cut Off Man's Holy Leg

Adding Insult to Injury or Why I Hate Plants

2007-12-07T13:46:00.001-08:00

I bought a beautiful plant for the centerpiece of my thanksgiving dinner table. Supposedly it should last and continue to bloom. Not in my life. Now it looks totally bedraggled and sad, despite the fact that I have been checking to make sure the soil is damp. I have a brown thumb.

The other reason that plants and I don’t get along is because I have cats… Mouse in particular. Note that the cat is a) not supposed to be on the table and b) is supposed to leave the potted plants alone. This morning I notice a disgusting brown spot of cat yak on my beautiful new tablecloth.

“OH GROSS!!!!”

It was still wet, sort of, but had been sitting there long enough for the acids to totally have ruined all semblance of a finish on that part of the dining room table. Great. She just had to get on the table and gnaw on the new plant, which as usual, induced almost immediate vomiting. I managed to get the table cloth clean thank goodness – now I can cover up the big ruined spot on the table’s finish.

Just to add insult to injury, as I gathered up my slippers to take them upstairs I noticed that she had also aimed over the edge of the table and managed to yak, not onto, but into my slipper. Fantastic, It’s going to be a good day, and believe me it did NOT get any better from there.

What I'm thankful for

2007-11-23T07:20:00.000-08:00

After a tough year and two heart attacks, I still have my father.
My husband. I can say that now, we had a wonderful wedding surrounded by family and our most dear friends.
All of the people who sat around my thanksgiving table yesterday, for they are just as much my family as my Mom and Dad are.
I finally graduated from school.
I actually have some job interviews.

Those are my top 5, there are many more: my cats, my house (despite how much I bitch about my neighborhood sometimes) and countless others. I like thanksgiving, not only for the food fest that ensues, but because it reminds me to keep my perspective. I need to remember to step back from all the things I stress out about on a daily basis and remember that all in all my life is good. There are those who face more insurmountable problems on a daily basis – like trying to simply stay alive. For all these I have every reason to be thankful.

Repost

2007-10-27T10:14:00.001-07:00

I snatched this off a friend's blog, I just couldn't pass it up:

FORGET REDNECKS...Here's what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New Englanders!
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you might live in New England.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in New England.
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping it will swim by, you might live in New England.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Mt. Washington is the coldest spot in the nation and Boston gets more snow than any other major city in the U.S., you might live in New England.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in New England.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in New England.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in New England.
If you've ever had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you might live in New England.
And...you know you're a New Englander when "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend.

Other hints...

You measure distance in hours
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
You have switched from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snow suit.
The speed limit on the highway is 55 mph but you're going 80 and everyone is still passing you!
Driving is better in the winter because all the potholes are filled with snow.
You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You have more miles on your snow blower than on your car.
You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

What!?!

2007-10-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

Wait, you get to keep the leg....?

Morning Edition, October 3, 2007 · A South Carolina man lost his leg three years ago in a plane crash. John Wood put his amputated leg in a barbecue smoker for safe keeping, and then put the whole thing in a storage unit. But when he fell behind on payments, the smoker was auctioned off with the leg inside. The new owner called police, but not until after he'd made a few bucks by charging people to take a look. A custody battle for the leg is underway.

Listen (if you dare)

Inner Piece... (yes, I did spell that wrong on purpose)

2007-08-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

Drowning in a Sea of Paper

2007-08-16T06:12:00.000-07:00

I’ve been busily trying to turn out all the laboratory exercises for my osteo class next fall. This leads me to two observations. (1) I really need a scanner and (2) It seems that whenever I get involved in a project (of an academic nature) it is quite obvious to the casual observer, i.e. my office really suffers. Of course I have one of those twisty office chairs at my desk, and currently it is completely surrounded on all three sides with a hemisphere of paper and book, which I have to clamber over in order to go get a drink of water or whatever else may draw me away from the desk. Yesterday, between the cat and all of my papers there wasn’t a inch of my desk top visible. This is quite a feat since I have an enormous desk.

Of course ever present in the middle of whatever it is I am trying to read is Mouse. I count my blessings when she isn’t on the keyboard or standing on the sliver of desk between me and the keyboard because she is pissed that I am paying more attention to work then to her.

I got a jury duty summons the other day.

“Dangit, didn’t I just do this?”

I found my juror certificate, and of course, it was three years ago almost to the day. I swear I’ve been called to jury duty more over the last 15 years than anyone else I know. WTF? Of course the appearance was also scheduled for the exact day and time I’m supposed to be in RI teaching. Sigh.

Another great way to waste time...

2007-08-13T16:18:00.000-07:00

Simpson Me...

and at the Quick-E-Mart...

Simpsonize yourself

Worth every second...

2007-08-11T13:50:00.000-07:00

Dan told me I should read this...

A Street Sweeper's Tale

Make sure you can contain yourself if you are at work, it will make you howl out loud with laughter. Such a great read and worth every second...

Work Sucks!

2007-08-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it raining, and its cold, and I’ve been sitting in front of this computer trying to figure out how I am going to teach this class all day. Suckage. Can I please rewind just a few days and go back to the fun, sun and glorious beaches of the Vineyard? Vacation is wonderful, facing reality when you come back is a serious drag.

I think I’ll take a moment to relay a few memorable moments of the trip (think blooper reel):

We were walking on an incredibly crowded corner near the Black Dog Wharf and a family: mom, dad and kids were passing us on the edge of the sidewalk walking their bikes. One of the younger boys had one of those half a bike things attached to the back of his father’s bicycle. Well, the kid totally wasn’t looking where he was going. Just holding onto the handlebars and watching his feet as he scurried along behind Dad. Too bad for him he failed to notice the signpost and walked into it full force right in the face, landing in a heap on the sidewalk. Amazingly he didn’t cry, I think he was too confused about how he ended up sitting on the road… It was all I could do to control myself until his parents got far enough away for us both to bust out laughing.

We went to Gay Head, which are the majestic costal cliffs on the west shore of the island. After admiring them from above we set out for the long walk to the beach. Once we reached the beach we walked for awhile towards the cliffs to try and dodge the most crowded and kid infested parts of the beach. We reached as nice area closer to the cliffs and settled down. Dan dove right into his book, but as usual I decided to sit up for awhile and look around. Suddenly I realized “Oh my God, that dude is buck ass naked!” wait “so is that dude, and that dude and oh, honey you really shouldn’t be naked!” Yep we found the nudie beach! Oops. The hotel clerk told us there was one but we didn’t know exactly where it was. The most amusing part of the whole experience after the initial humorous realization was watching the families with kids stroll down the beach to look at the cliffs (possibly one of the biggest tourist draws and most scenic spots on the entire island) and suddenly realize that they have unwittingly brought their kids to a nudie beach. I thought it was a rather odd choice of a place for a naked beach, or perhaps it is the local’s ironic way of getting some small revenge on all those pesky tourists that invade in the summer…

I had to share

2007-08-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, most of you aren't going to know my friend Sean, this post is in homage to him and a recent experience of his.

Read this: Never underestimate the enemy

You have got to read this it is so worth it. All I can say is there are two morals to this story:
1. Young people need to learn respect for thier elders
2. Truth is always stranger then fiction

I only wish I could have been there... perhaps with a video camera.

Ahhh...

2007-07-24T06:30:00.001-07:00

I am house sitting for my parents for a few days while they have a mini vacation. So I have escaped my infamous neighborhood for a while… and what a difference. Sunday was glorious, that really the best word I can think to use. During the hottest part of the day I went in search of scrap booking paraphernalia with a friend of mine, as I really want to take that up again. Then we went for a paddle in the Kayaks. After she left I managed to get some work done on a map I’m working on, then I sat on the front porch enjoying the evening sun with a glass of wine and the newspaper. After dinner I decided to go for ice cream and a walk. I walked down to the Point Spa and got ice cream for the first time since I was in high school. Then I walked the main beach as the sun was setting and the sky looked like spun pink and blue cotton candy. I was all energized so I walked back along the water and walked the whole way around the point. It was the perfect time for walking, late, cool and pleasant. It was so nice to be able to walk at that time without having to worry about being mugged. That is the perfect time for me to exercise – as opposed to first thing in the morning, which never happens. I always say I should get up and go, but frankly there just is no fighting biology. I’m a night person. Period.

As much as I’m enjoying the relaxing quiet of GLP you know that calamity, at least accident induced calamity can never fall far behind my wake. At about 11 pm last night I took a glass of wine and my book to bed. As I was getting settled I noticed a LARGE spider on the wall just near my pillow. I’m sorry he just had to go. Now for all you insect lovers that are going to scream cause I said I killed a spider – if he had been almost anywhere else in the house I would have left him alone – but not near my head when I’m sleeping. Sorry, childhood phobia, so I don’t want to hear it.

So anyway, I reached for the tissues to dispatch him and somehow (I haven’t figured out how yet) my wine glass got knocked over, soaking everything. This was way too much liquid for a few tissues so I darted out of the room to grab a hand towel and immediately stomped on the dog’s bone. Its one of those evil nylon ones with the little nubs all over it to clean their teeth, you can just imagine how that felt on the arch of my foot. So after resoundingly kicking the bone down the hallway, I was hopping up and down on one foot swearing trying to get the closet door open and get a towel before the tissue dam I made is breached and wine goes all over the carpet. Well if finally got the mess cleaned up only to find myself VERY awake, with a sore arch (but at least I didn’t have to listen to screaming neighbors or booming stereos only fog horns). Oh well, so much for an early night…

More Silliness

2007-07-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ahh, people’s stupidity continues to bring me joy, or at least a few good laughs.

Honda Ad Campaign Mistakenly Awards Millions

A Honda dealer in Roswell, New Mexico tried an ad campaign involving $50,000 scratch-off tickets. Scratch off the ticket that came in the mail; win $1,000. Imagine the surprise at Roswell Honda when they discovered all 50,000 tickets were winners — and more than half were mailed before the typo was discovered. So that's only a $30 million mistake (Morning Edition, NPR)

Giant Man Eating Badgers… And Other Stuff

2007-07-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

You really must check out this juicy little tidbit: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6295138.stm

The local rumor mill is busy, busy, busy in the Iraqui city of Basera. Superstition and fear of a little known animal has bred a wonderful new chupacabra-esque belief that British troops have intentionally released a plague of giant man eating badgers onto the local populace. The creature is the size of a dog, with the head of a monkey according to a local housewife who claims she was attacked in her sleep. This of course has led to the funniest ever official military pronouncement:

UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.” (BBC news credit)

Ahhh, life is truly better then fiction. Not much more new to report around here, except that I have attempted to jump back on the exercise bandwagon (however, I feel kinda like I fell off… hard). I’ve been Kayaking twice and walked three miles twice over the last four days. So now I feel a bit like I did after that first kickboxing class. I think I’m going to take today off, that way I can still walk tomorrow!

Doga my Yoga

2007-07-16T11:58:00.001-07:00

Ouch

2007-07-12T16:09:00.000-07:00

Ok I am really going to make an attempt to get back on the fitness bandwagon. Lets just say I’m less then happy with the condition I’m in. Frankly, I really have NO excuse any more. My thesis is done; my summer class is done. Now, that’s not to say that I don’t have anything to get accomplished, but there is no longer any excuse that I don’t have time to go to the gym.

I’ve been sort of sucked into watching martial arts lately. I’d really like to learn to fight. So, I thought I would do the compromise thing, and start off by going to the cardio-kickboxing class at the gym. Great cardio and I can pretend that I’m actually fighting and not just running on a treadmill like a squirrel in a wheel.

Ok, I have only one thing to say… Oooouuuccchhhh!

Well, there is actually more to say, besides feeling like I’ve been run over by a Mac truck, did I really need to be reminded how completely uncoordinated and ungraceful I am? And, Sean… I’m gonna need those gloves… cause I’m not giving up!

It goes without saying

2007-07-05T15:08:00.001-07:00

How cool is this?

The Eyes Have It

2007-06-29T06:23:00.000-07:00

Dan: I'm haveing trouble with my eyes...

Me: What's wrong? Did you take your contacts out?

Dan: No, I just can't see myself getting up for another beer.

dumb and dumber

2007-06-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

CNN quoted Paris Hilton yesterday as saying “I’ll no longer act dumb.”

Click to Arrrggghhh: http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/11/paris.hilton.ap/index.html

Two things, no make that three:
1. Oh My God! You mean she was just acting all this time?

2. This is headline news? Isn't there a war or something going on?

3. When was dumb ever cute?

The small vs. the chubby

2007-06-05T15:19:00.000-07:00

So I couldn’t figure out why my resident blue jay (the one that like to mock the cat) was being so loud and annoying. He was continuously cawing at top lung power and he had been keeping it up for about 30 min. I was finally getting annoyed, it felt like his call was rattling around in my brain. Finally I decided to get up and have a look around.

I noticed something sleeping in the large tree behind the house that was definitely NOT a cat. The jay was decidedly upset about this. He was dancing around the sleeping critter and literally yelling at it. He started dive bombing the poor thing who was obviously trying to sleep (unsuccessfully). It turned out to be a very large, chubby raccoon. The poor thing must have been nearly deafened but he wasn’t moving except for his ears which would bounce back in dismay each time the jay cawed. Finally he seem to get fed up and chagrined began to climb down the tree trunk. This didn’t seem to satisfy the jay who followed him down the tree, and chased him still cawing across the yard. Talk about ballsy if that coon was more motivated – he would have been an easy lunch. I guess it just goes to show even if you are small if you are TOTALLY annoying you can drive just about anything away.

I wish my digital camera had sound because it was a total riot. If you watch it just know that every time the ears bounce the jay is sounding off…

Racoon vs. Jay

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Soggy

2007-05-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

Well this morning started in typical Cara disaster fashion. Just as Dan was leaving the house I passed the water cooler. That’s when I noticed a pool of water on the floor. I lifted up the corner of the carpet and yes all underneath the carpet was wet (mostly unfinished) wood floor. Aaaarrrggghhh. Mad dash for the door – try to catch Dan… Nope, too late. So I managed to drag the carpet outside into the sun. The carpet is about 5 x 7 feet and almost the entire thing was soaked. The 5 gallon bottle Dan put on the cooler just yesterday is almost empty. Seems the hot water heater inside went batty, and boiled it all out. Water was coming out the vents and seams on the side, and the whole bottle of water on the top of the cooler was hot. I figured it was going to be really hard to take the water bottle off without spilling everywhere, but there was so little left in it that it really wasn’t a problem. Of course the truly amusing part was if anyone could see me as I tried to hump the cooler, full of water across the house and out the front door. I am now soaked and there is a wonderful trail of water – all the way across the house. What is it with me an appliances? What am I the anti-appliance? They always crap out on me.

Seems I have been rather lax about keeping my blog. I finally turned my dissertation in to the graduate school at 4:30 on the day before graduation. I felt really funny, like it wasn’t actually possible that it could really be over. I was in a daze for the rest of the afternoon. The next day was graduation, and let it be said that with me, nothing is ever without catastrophe. I managed to rear end someone on the way to graduation. Way to go. I got totally bent out of shape, I thought I had completely totaled my car, and I was going to miss my own graduation. Luckily the officer that came to the scene was truly kind. My parents picked us up and we left the car till after graduation to arrange a tow. I ran in the door of Gampel pavilion, ran across the open floor, jumped into my seat, and graduation started. Made it totally by the skin of my teeth! (Dan was actually able to fix my car, thank god!).

Within the next few days I submitted my first paper for publication. Now I can only wait and bite my nails and hope that it is accepted. Spent last week teaching the forensic osteology short course, and now I am preparing to teach my summer session course. My bridal shower was last weekend. It was really nice to see all my friends who I haven’t run into in a really long time. Since graduation and the publication are in, wedding planning has commenced, I must say at a rather frantic pace – it is only one month away. What can I say, I guess I’m not happy if things are going at some sort of normal rather then frenetic pace (I need to learn to stop doing that to myself). Now, if I could just find a job for the fall and avoid any more exploding appliances – I’ll be all set.

Big Day

2007-04-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

Well I am happy to report I survived the Big Day. I don’t think I’ve ever been as nervous about anything before in my life. Honestly I really had no reason to be so upset. I was very well prepared and everything went fine. However, I couldn’t really bring myself to eat beforehand and I had become very well acquainted with the bottle of Pepto. Afterwards I made sure I got just as acquainted with a bottle of red wine. Of course that meant I had an emotional meltdown on the way home in the car… I have about three weeks to complete my final round of corrections and then graduation. Phew.

I decided to cut loose from my desk for a few days before getting back to work and spend some quality time with my friends. Went to the late night comedy club last night and busted a gut. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. I’m definitely not waiting too long to go back again.

Worth a listen for a laugh (very short)

2007-04-10T17:39:00.000-07:00

Saying the Right Thing, in 100 Words or Less

April 10, 2007 · Anyone can put themselves in a situation where they do or say the wrong thing. But, says commentator Daniel Pinkwater, it's rare to find someone who has presented themselves exactly the right way. In his local newspaper, Pinkwater found what he calls "the most concise piece of writing" he has ever seen.

Click Here To Listen

Need to break the twice a month habit.

2007-04-05T17:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have gotten REALLY lazy about my blog. Although, it might have something to do with never leaving my desk. So, one week and counting until I defend my thesis. Right now it is hard to tell weather the light at the end of the tunnel means the end is near or the freight train is barreling down at 100+ miles per hour. Although I have been more productive in the last few month then ever before I still have my meltdown moments.

I joined a book club and it is a totally great reason to bug out from work. I really enjoyed it, and I think I found the discussion even more fun then reading the book and I also really liked all the people I met. Should have done that a lot earlier! Well, that all that’s new on my horizon. Everyone pray I survive till graduation!

Drain Fairy

2007-03-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

Sunday I went to take a shower and much to my dismay I found the drain totally blocked. What the hell happened? Great no shower for now. So, I got dressed and went out to the store to buy some scary chemicals that I wouldn’t ordinarily go anywhere near (except when not using them means I won’t have a shower for the foreseeable future). After treatment for the allotted time – nothing. Great, still no shower. A whole bottle later at about midnight it still wasn’t flowing so I gave up and went to bed (sans shower). Well in the morning I vowed to take a shower no matter the consequences. Much to my surprise the drain was flowing better then it has in years – hence proving once and for all the existence of the drain fairy.

Pensive

2007-03-01T06:23:00.001-08:00

Lately I’ve been thinking a bit about friendship and how it fluxes and morphs as time goes by. I’ve come to realize that as I’ve gotten older (we all have), and moved away that it is a lot harder to maintain as many close friends away from the hustle and bustle of small town life. Friendship is a big investment, and when you neglect a relationship, for whatever reason, it is really hard to go back and fix it. I’ve realized that I still have many of my oldest friends. I still love to see them, and I always have a good time when I do, but I don’t really know what is going on in their lives. This is really inexcusable, even if I’m busy. Oddly just as some of these relationships have become more tenuous, I have made a close friend that I believe I’ll have for a lifetime and nothing makes me happier.

You are probably wondering what brought on all this heavy thinking. Suffice it to say that I recently lost touch with someone who has been a part of my life for over the last ten years. I’m a little miffed, but I don’t think the finger of blame can be pointed at only one of us. I know part of it is my own fault for never picking up the phone and just calling. However, I am feeling surprisingly wounded by the whole situation. The juxtaposition of loosing (perhaps) a friend, gaining a friend and rediscovering many of those I thought long lost through blogging and MySpace has really made me pensive lately.

Unusually Exuberant

2007-02-21T09:44:00.001-08:00

Lately I’ve been feeling kind of bad that I haven’t posted much to the blog. But frankly, I wouldn’t want to bore you to tears.

Finally I have something to report… I have revised four more chapters of my thesis and sent them off to those who need to digest them. This means only my conclusion chapter needs to still go through major revisions!!! All that time at my desk is paying off and I am actually getting somewhere! As my Father always says “The light at the end of the tunnel is no longer the oncoming train.”

My defense is set for April 12th and it looks like I’ll actually make the deadline.

Other than that life is pretty much the same ol’ thing. Except I took Saturday night off for a much need date with good friends and a bottle of wine :o) Even at parties you can learn something new: Did you know if you cut a grape in half and put it in the microwave for a few seconds with a glass over it - it will glow. Forget glow it will freakin catch on fire. Someone explain that one to me? What the hell is in a grape other then water? Especially that causes flames? We eat these…

Three Wishes

2007-02-09T07:06:00.000-08:00

Life is boring, I never leave my office. So if I’m going to update this thing, you are going to have to satisfied with the abstract.

You are probably wondering where this particular rambling came from. I am currently reading Imperium by Robert Harris (author also of Fatherland & Pompeii). It is the story of one of the great orators of ancient Rome, Cicero. As I started to doze off though I reverted to one of my oldest daydreams (or night dreams in this case), if I had three wishes… Unfortunately, I don’t think I would be charitable enough to ask for world peace. Rather, they would be:

1. The Gift of Language: to be able to understand and speak all languages – you know the equivalent of having a Babel Fish in your ear (towel optional).

2. Gift of Time Travel: (Tardis please…): What did Homo erectus really look like? Ancient Egypt? Pompeii? The Coliseum?

3. Finally, invisibility. Not that I want to sneak around on anyone here, but If you are going to travel in time, the 21st century women might find a bit of trouble not sticking out like a sore thumb in 3000 B.C. not to mention become lunch for some overly aggressive leopard on the African savanna.

Of course all of these things are categorically impossible, but that’s the whole reason I became an archaeologist in the first place.

Blonde Moment

2007-02-02T06:14:00.000-08:00

So yesterday my day got off to a stellar start. Dan forgot his lunch so I figured I would drop it off for him on the way home from the library. Got home and had to disconnect my ipod from the car stereo. Forgot I set my keys on the seat and got out locking the door manually. Keys in car – door locked BAD combo.

Dan had to come home after just to let me in the house and of course the second key to the car has been lost for about 2 + years. So, I had to call AAA to come out to the house and jimmy the lock to get my keys out… Not one of my brighter moments. I shouldn’t complain at least was 30 degrees out today and no -8… Perhaps I’ll just stay home today and attempt to avert disaster.

State of the Union

2007-01-23T15:52:00.001-08:00

You Know You're a Redneck If...

2007-01-16T07:32:00.000-08:00

Other then stealing that surely trademarked phrase. You know you are a redneck if you say… “Dang Gum”

Life is a trip – I love this video, but it is really the commentary in the background makes it…

Nuclear Meltdown

2007-01-16T07:31:00.000-08:00

By the end of last week I was beginning to feel like it was no longer safe to leave the bedroom, and if I did – I was likely to burn the house down.

It began slowly on Monday as I encountered some relatively insignificant administrative snags regarding a short profession masters course I was about to teach and reached nuclear levels by Tuesday night. Tuesday I found out that the overworked head of the PSM program, neglected to actually put me on the payroll prior to teaching my course. This of course means waiting for the endlessly slow gears of the university payroll to grind into gear, and I might actually see my pay sometime in February. Of course this is a problem for the enormous fee bill that I owe to the University, essentially… Now. Ugh, so it was off to the bursar to beg for leniency (pigs might also fly). The entire reason I even went to school that day was for a meeting, and the person was totally AWOL. Great. So finally I pack up and head home, falsely assuming that things would be better at home.

As I stepped into the house my nose was assaulted with the smell of rotten… something. Oh, no! Now what! So I clean the cat box, take out the trash and do a thorough spray down with Lysol. Didn’t even dent it. Great. Eventually I went down to the basement and found that our deep freezer had ceased to function. All the food (approximately $300 is my guess) was warm, warmer then the air, and totally rotten. But of course the light in the freezer still works so I could really see the mess particularly well.

After a few minutes for the enormity of this disaster to sink (and to recover from how much worse the smell was when I opened the door) in I decided to jump in to cleaning it up as a way to prevent myself from freaking out about the monetary cost of this little problem. I took the first bag of rotten stuff upstairs to go out the kitchen door to the trash area. I give the door a big tug, and you guessed it, I’m holding the door knob and the door is still closed. Damn it!!!! Put down the trash, go find a screw driver. Fix door. Take out trash. Go back for more. Smell back, Ugh, I think I’m going to be sick – Yep. Run upstairs quick! Guess I shouldn’t have eaten those Girl Scout Cookies before I figured out what smelled bad. Ok, thinking I was partially recovered I went back downstairs to face the mess. As I look down at my white sweater I see red… blood, Oh No, now I’m hemorrhaging blood from my nose.

That was it, I lost it. I was bleeding, retching and crying – total meltdown. I called Dan at work and asked him to come home. “Oh my God are you OK????????” I think I freaked him out a little bit. Managed to clean up and regain my composure by the time he got home. Luckily he brought his respirator home so I could finish cleaning without smelling any more of that funk. We locked up the cats and opened all the windows and the basement door to ventilate the smell. I asked Dan to get us something to eat (seeing that there was no food left). Half a bottle of Clorox later the mess was all cleaned up. We ate and then decided to close the house up again.

Ten minutes after the window were shut, the whole house smell of old rotten wood and cat pee. What the hell? I guess poor little Simba had his legs crossed while he was locked up and ran right for his box – but unfortunately for me – he missed and got the old wood paneling on the wall behind the cat box. Out come the rubber gloves and the bottle of Clorox. Again.

About 10pm I finally crashed on the couch. Phew. Maybe I should just go to bed.
“Rattle, Rattle, Wheeze, Gasp.”

Oh, No. Not tonight. Don’t you dare…. We have a 50 gallon fish tank that has a small algae problem (no make that a big algae problem) that will totally kill the old and tired filter system. Which is exactly what happen Tuesday night at 10:15 pm. We had to totally disassemble the filter system and clean it out.

Ok, that’s it, I’m going to bed, I can’t take anymore. About a half an hour later, Dan asks for a flashlight.

“Huh?”

Shortly thereafter he comes into the room and says “I don’t think I should have sat by you on the couch tonight. Whatever affliction of calamity you have must have rubbed off on me!”
He dropped his contact, we all do it, but unfortunately for him – it went down the drain. The last pair. His glasses are 4+ years old and he has no medical insurance…

I figure blessed sleep, make the day end – the next day I woke up with a cold, almost no voice and was facing teaching all day for the remainder of the week. Figures.

One of my favorite books growing up was about a little girl named Violet. Violet was a little bit of a tomboy, she loved to be outside and doing things that were fun, usually at the expense of her clothes, personal belongings and general appearance. She was as her mother put it an Ultraviolet Catastrophe – some weeks I feel more like Violet then others…

Perspective This Year

2006-12-19T14:27:00.000-08:00

It is funny the wealth of emotions and memories that are turned up this season. I got to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas the other day. I have long tired of most of the children’s Christmas specials, but no matter how many years pass, I will never tire of that one.

I don’t really have a lot of memories of being really little. I am always amazed when someone can remember things from when they were only two or three years old. I have only snapshots, and they are few and far between. One of those snapshots was the first time I saw the Grinch. I was really small, I can’t say exactly how old, but my guess is about three (I’m sure Mom will tell me after she reads this). I was wearing my red, footie pajamas and I climbed up on my parent’s bed with my Mother. They had a tiny 10 inch Sony black and white television with bunny ears in the bedroom (high tech for 1977!). I was transfixed, and now it just isn’t Christmas if I can’t watch the Grinch. I am trying to follow my own advice and focus on these little treasures of life rather then the flotsam of the daily grind that tends to draw your focus to the negative.

I have to say that this year Christmas is off to a good start, although we can’t travel to see family in North Carolina this year; I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with my family and friends. No matter what the stress, whether finances, work or school, you always have to remember to put life in perspective. For example last Christmas I was in Africa, in my tent, alone, with food poisoning, throwing up constantly. Anything would be an improvement. All kidding aside, I sometimes have a tendency to loose that very perspective. Today I went to visit a friend of mine in the hospital. She is fighting advanced bone cancer. At this stage it is impossible to eradicate it, we can only hope for remission that might buy her a few more years. This is a very special Lady. A long time ago she threw me a lifeline… she gave me the job that got me on my feet again at a time in my life where I was feeling very desperate. It was through that job that I ran into Daniel again. If not for working on the Navy base, I might never have seen him again. This summer we will finally be getting married. Patti is a people person the likes of which I have never seen. As I’m standing by her bed, she’s telling me how she just saw my Dad a few weeks ago. It is always humbling to see fate take out someone at the top of their game… So I have to remind myself not to get lost in the difficulties of life, rather focus on the gifts of life, you never know when they might be taken away.

Whoopee!!!!

2006-12-15T12:49:00.000-08:00

I must say I’m feeling a sense of accomplishment right now.

You see I finally have a rough draft of my dissertation… complete… COMPLETE!!!!

Sure it’s a little rough around the edges, but I have a few months to address that. Ok more then a little rough… But the point is I made my deadline (tomorrow). I really didn’t want to have to shove off another deadline. Now I get to give the conclusions to my advisor to slice and dice, and on to the revisions.

Perhaps now I can remember how to go to the gym, etc?

Holiday Fun

2006-12-14T05:51:00.000-08:00

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Tidbit ‘O the Day

2006-11-22T14:26:00.000-08:00

Did you ever want to blend up a box of atomic fireballs, or perhaps some marbles, or bottle of beer into a nice smoothie… if so you should check out:

www.willitblend.com

I want one of these things! Too bad they have a hefty price tag…$400

I must be getting old

2006-11-15T12:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, I must be getting old because phone etiquette is changing in just incomprehensible ways. When did it become ok to talk on you cell phone when you are in a public bathroom and toilets are flushing everywhere? That is just gross. I would be totally mortified if the person I was talking to figured out I was on the toilet – and frankly its not that hard to figure out!!!

Athletics goes to new levels

2006-11-10T06:50:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the annual Rock Paper Scissors World Championship! (http://www.worldrps.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=207&Itemid=73)
“Serving the needs of decisions makers since 1918.”

Honestly I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry?

My only other commentary for the season… Why the hell are stores already putting up the Christmas decorations? Can’t we just take one holiday at a time? Please? Watching the commercialism get worse and worse every season is starting to take the warm fuzzies out of the whole thing. Right about now I really want to enjoy a nice Christmas season (when it actually gets here)! Anything would be better then last year, in Africa, alone in my tent with a horrific case of food poisoning.

Long time no blog

2006-11-01T08:23:00.000-08:00

It’s been awhile, but this weekend I actually emerged from my office long enough to see the sun! Fancy that. Hopefully now that I've changed the address people are still reading this.

Thursday night we piled in the Jeep and took off for North Carolina. We drove through the night but it wasn’t too bad because we traded sleeping and driving about every two hours. I was happy when I was woken up for breakfast and it turned out we were in a Bojangles parking lot. Woo Hoo!! Cajun chicken and biscuits with sweet tea. Good thing I don’t actually live within driving distance of one these restaurants or the magically expanding waistline would go into overdrive.

Saturday we went to the Goodguys Show in Charlotte. Luckily the weather changed and it was a gorgeous warm day. I love North Carolina, there are still all your seasons but fall comes much later and winter checks out early. Spent all day checking out hotrods, the show was absolutely huge! We were there all day and didn’t remotely see everything. My favorite car and truck were hard to narrow down but here they are.

Sunday Dan went back to the car show, but not me. I went to the National Balloon Rally. Pretty cool stuff. We spent most of the day wandering about eating fattening food and putting the boys (nephews) on various rides. We (me and the boys) got our picture taken in a Cobra helicopter. I mentioned that I always wanted to learn to fly one of those things and the army officer replied “We always need more pilots…” how very recruiter of you. Becky cracked me up, “No way, she’s marrying my son!” We had some time to kill before the balloons were going to get set up. We spied a bunch of kids flying tiny kites, and got two of them and taught the boys to fly them. I forgot how much fun it is to fly a kite when there aren’t any trees around to eat it Charlie Brown Style.

There was supposed to be about 50 balloons taking off in the evening, but it was really windy that day so most of the ballooners didn’t even try to take off. That was kind of disappointing; it would have made quite a spectacle. But a few brave souls took on the wind and took off. All in all about 5 or 6 made it off the ground, but they really had to fight for it! All in all it was still really fun.

We had to face the long drive back Monday morning after stocking up on goodies only available in the south (not to mention two containers of Dan’s sisters brownies). Thanks Brandy! (Now he’ll leave me alone about the brownies for at least a week.) We picked a random Red Robin restaurant off the highway to eat dinner and the place was packed with little girls all wearing cheetah print??? While standing in a huge line at the restroom I finally had to ask what the hell was going on. “We are going to the Cheetah Girls concert.” Ok, a few minutes of silence, then the mid-aged women with no children had to ask, “What the heck are the Cheetah Girls?” Ah, another Disney Channel phenomenon. Ugh. One of the mothers quipped that for what she had paid for the tickets she ought to be seeing some one famous – I wish I had a camera for the horrified look she got from her daughter. Priceless.

Introducing Archeobot

2006-10-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

No, don’t ask where I got that little gem… just don’t.

After my last post, I’ve found that I am just too attached to this thing to delete it. Following some suggestions I’ve tried to sanitize it of my identity so I can happily continue to blog about my sometimes ridiculous existence. Wednesday, for instance. The day of my midterm. I actually got up, and out of the house much earlier then usual. All seemed well. WRONG! Got halfway to school when the coolant light in the Saturn started blinking and the temperature spiked. Pulled in the gas station and the car was hemorrhaging coolant. Um, I don’t think topping it off is going to work, HELP!!! Poor Dan, he drove out to rescue me. He turned the car on with the hood up and a stream of fluid shot out of the engine compartment in a perfect parabolic arc. Not good. I ended up going on to school with the Jeep as he attempted to get the Saturn home, stopping ever so often to refill the tank with water. Of course the consequence of this little jaunt was that he got really behind at work and had to stay past Midnight. My hero.

The last week had totally gone by in a blur. Amazingly I’ve gotten quite a lot done. I got the first draft of my introduction chapter written. I’m nearly finished with my applications for about 12 different teaching positions. Work continues on the revisions of my paper to be submitted to the journal in a few weeks. Gave my midterm exam and got them all corrected. All and all not bad, considering. Well, I’m off to buy a ream of resume paper (now isn’t that just scintillating news).

I think I have to do it…

2006-10-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

Well I’m finally sending out my C.V. and trying to get a job lined up for next academic year. The final push is on. But what this really means, is that I think I’m going to have to pull down this blog. I’ve really enjoyed this, it’s fun and it’s been a great way to share with my friends that are scattered across the continent. However, search committees are thorough, and I really don’t want my prospective employers seeing me on top of a pyramid of my friends at the end of a night of beer drinking, or telling stories about my less then desirable neighborhood. I hate the fact that I have to care what other people think of my blog, but after 10 years of college (and being poorer then dirt) I’m not about to take any chances. I wanted to just password protect this blog, but that is not possible. I have a myspace account, which has a blog feature. So I will probably keep blogging there for now. I have set it to be a private profile, so you will have to add me as a friend to see it. This way at least I have a little insulation from prying eyes. I hope I won’t loose the only two people who actually read this blog….Mary (I know you have an account)… Jenni…

hmmm me thinks this is going to generate some comments...

Famous Last Words

2006-10-06T13:33:00.000-07:00

This neighborhood has been suffering a plague of roofers for the last five months. First it was just opposite my office window were I was blessed with guys throwing large objects off a three story roof while happily singing along to the radio, ROOOXXXXANNNNNE.

Then it was house on the corner, then down the hill, and now… next door. I really should have seen it coming. As the house next door was painted and renovated over the past several months we have remarked several times how what the house really needed was to have the roof done. There is no use replacing carpets if the roof leaks! We should have kept our mouths shut, because now I’m listening to the less then melodious sounds of nail guns, air compressors and large objects being hucked off the roof. I’m wondering if I should start parking on the street…

There are many nice things about working at home, if only home were somewhere else…

Things Recently Learned

2006-09-27T06:19:00.001-07:00

Ok, well if we are on the life lessons bit again, things I recently learned include: Don’t say your life is boring – because then it will get weird.

For instance I’ve since learned that I had a hit man living across the street. Yes, I did say HIT MAN!!!! It’s always a bad sign when a reporter calls late at night to ask you if you know one of your neighbors. Unfortunately I wasn’t home to take the call. Cleverly I forgot to check the next day’s paper but Dan remembered. Turns out this guy was a hit man for a gang is Puerto Rico, was living under his brother’s name – hiding out. Only his brother was murdered last week in P.R. and now he’s busted. This is wilder then Jerry Springer. Leave it to my Dad to try and put a silver lining on the cloud “A hit man isn’t that bad, it could be worse. At least he wasn’t a serial killer, those are the worst kind.”

Then, later the yard was invaded by a skunk. There is no way out of our three foot wide back yard, it is surrounded by a (attractive) chain link fence. Well we had people over that night and there was a fire in the front yard and the skunk was afraid of the fire. This is bad, caught between a skunk and a hard place. This was also a litmus test for who had drunk the most beer. Me, I made a bee-line for inside – Dan followed. Sean and Joel are out there determined to chase the skunk away despite my dire warnings that if they got sprayed they were sleeping outside with their new little friend. Somehow by the grace of, I dunno, pure luck they didn’t get sprayed – even after cornering in the shed and throwing gravel at it to try and get it to run.

As I was navigating last night for someone not familiar with my neighborhood I was marveling anew at some of the ridiculous shops in the neighborhood and wishing I could take pictures without fearing for my life. There is a home nestled into the cliff face that recently had about 50+ bathtub Virgin Marys in the front yard and all over the cliff face. I wish I had gotten a picture of that one before he was forced by the town to take them down. This is quickly followed by a small shop whose name is proudly proclaimed “STUFF – U – NEED” and the aptly named convenience store whose window is full Styrofoam heads with wigs. Cause you never know when your going to have to hit the convenience store cause you forgot your hair… I guess life is never totally boring as long as you open your eyes.

Blah, Blah, Blah

2006-09-22T14:53:00.000-07:00

I guess that title is both figurative and literal. Not too much to report other then being another year older and feeling it (and not much wiser seeing as I drank beer and played with fire on my birthday). Other then that, nothing new is really happening, except of course feeling guilty for not posting. Frankly life’s a bit boring right now and I don’t need to inflict it on anyone else.

Life Lessons

2006-09-13T06:26:00.000-07:00

Over dinner last night a good friend and I were swapping “Life Lessons” with much hilarity. One of her top ones: If you are walking across a sewer grate, be sure you have a good hold on your keys!

For me: Never read and walk at the same time. You think I would learn after once, twice, god knows how many times. When I first started working at the credit union (I don’t work there anymore) I was busy reading the internal memos I had just retrieved from my mail box at the same time that I was walking down the line of glass fronted offices. All I can say is “Danger Will Robinson!” Anyhow I managed to misjudge where the door was and when I tried to enter the office, I ran full force into the huge pane of glass. CLANG!!! Reverb… Of course due to my luck, all of the other member service representatives were loitering in that office, and looked up in time to see my startled face firmly connecting to the glass. So much for first impressions, they all dissolved into pools of laughter. Believe me, by the time I left three years later I hadn’t done much to improve my reputation. My manager used to beg me to please take the elevator…

So, back to the present, in the restaurant parking lot we have just finished explaining how we have both managed to fall over absolutely nothing. I turn and start walking away while looking back at her saying goodbye. When I finally get back to looking where I’m going, I’m surprised to realize that the corner of the Jeep is only about 3 inches from my nose. Hit the Brakes!!! How apropos. You can dress me up but you can’t take me out and expect that I won’t run into stuff!! We were both laughing so hard we were crying and could barely get in our cars.

The power of memory

2006-09-11T09:43:00.000-07:00

I have only seen my mother truly cry a few times in my lifetime. But the thing that I remember most about 9-11-2000 is her voice. I was blissfully unaware of what was going on. Unusually the radio was not on. I picked up the phone and my Mother was sobbing. She, always one to talk on the phone, could only manage to get out two sentences.
“They’ve hit the world trade center. Turn on you television”
I turned on the television in time to see the second plane hit. I stood there in total shock; I couldn’t take it so I walked outside, down my front walk. I wondered how to reconcile the horror of what I had just witnessed with the beautiful sparkling sunshine, bright purple flowers against the sky, and the seeming normality of my home. I couldn’t. I was suddenly struck with the absolute silence of my usually boisterous neighborhood, even the birds were quiet.

I was supposed to teach that day, and was expected at the university. I got in the car turned over the ignition. The DJ on the radio was saying that there were 4 more planes in the air that were unaccounted for – would there be more horror? I remember the frantic fear for my Father, who I knew was traveling. I turned off the car and went back inside. My family was lucky, he was safe, and managed to rent a car to drive home from Ohio. It was the first time I, or many of my generation in this country could truly appreciate the horror of war, or more simply the starkness of terror.

Is that a… Oh God!

2006-09-08T07:40:00.000-07:00

So yesterday felt like a marathon. Run for school, run for the office, run to class (pause) realization – Oh dammit I forgot to go to the pharmacy! Of course I realized this 10 minutes before I was supposed to start teaching. Definitely not enough time to get to the pharmacy and back to the classroom on time. Man was I mad at myself, as I would have to drive back to school just to get the prescription filled the next day!

Luckily I got through my lecture with an extra ten minutes to spare. Now mind you I’m wearing high heels, not realizing I would be running a friggin marathon that day. So I took off out of the classroom like a shot, hoping that in 20 minutes I could make it to the pharmacy and then to the next class I had to teach far across campus. Unfortunately I didn’t realize that one of my students was following me so he could find the classroom. As he put it, later “Yeah, I was following you to find the room, and then it got weird.”

“Phew, there is not line at the pharmacy, maybe I can pull this off…”
I found the back door to the health center, and figured (wrongly) that I could cut across the back way in almost a straight shot to the Math Building. Now, I haven’t used this section of campus in years, like since I was an undergraduate. So I’m running along, in my heels, on a good course and suddenly, there is a building that never used to be there blocking the way.
“Aarrgghh! Where did that come from? Detour!”
I cut through the bushes and come out on N. Eagleville road and hurry along. The building is a giant L wrapping around the corner of the block. Of course I need the other end… I figure I can go in one end and just follow the hallways around… famous last words, “Not a through entrance.”
Proving nothing at can ever be simple, back outside run across the plaza, find the stairs – I got to the classroom about 1 minute before class was supposed to start.

I actually found my entire class in the hallway.
“What the hell is going on?” The teacher in the classroom before me refuses to end his class on time, a pattern is developing here.
I stick my head in the room, “Ahem, I am supposed to be teaching?”
He actually has the audacity to say, “Ok we’ll be out in ten minutes”
I guess I shouldn’t have asked in a questioning tone, now I’m irritated “No, not in ten minutes my class is supposed to start NOW!!!!”
“Oh we’ll be out in a minute”
I don’t know who he was, and I’m kinda glad he doesn’t know who I am after that little exchange, but by this time I’m on my cell phone with scheduling getting a new room…

Consequently, my class ran over and I didn’t get everything done. Now I’m late for Beer Hour which I’m supposed to be organizing due to the absence of the normal MC, and it is across campus, again! Cursing the location of my classroom for the tenth time that day. I’m off and running again.

By the time I wrapped up my own work after Beer Hour, I still had to pick up some groceries on the way home. By now lunch has definitely worn off, the lady checking me out asked how I could shop without eating first? I countered “with a lot of restraint” of course restraint went out the window while I was stopped at a light next to Burger King. Next thing I know I was scarfing down a burger… Yet another healthy meal. Finally my very blistered feet hit the front step at 10pm.

The first thing I did was to loose the sandals in exchange for some PJs and bare feet. Second, a glass of water… Then standing at the water cooler, OH GOD WHAT IS THAT GROUND INTO THE CARPET???? It used to be a mouse. SIMBA!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO? He usually eats the whole thing and spares me. To make matters worse, Dan, in his work boots had stepped on it without noticing. Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God I can’t deal with this right now.

Ok, first go get the boots off him. Of course he wants to know why I want to see the bottom of his boots, and then immediately turns green. Take the boot outside, clean it up. Then I needed a few minutes of breathing to figure out how to deal with the worse one. Gloves, paper towels, cleaning solution… my poor stomach – flip-flop, GROSS!!!! All said and done, I finally wind down enough to go to bed figuring I’ve had enough of this day. Of course to top the day off I manage to drop the barrettes I’m taking out of my hair, directly into the toilet… I might have washed it recently but I STILL DON’T WANT TO STICK MY HAND IN THERE! Man, I’ve got to go to bed before anything else bad happens. I’m glad I’m staying home today.

Um, Professor?

2006-09-05T16:10:00.000-07:00

It’s begun, all over again. I can not believe that summer is over, but just to rub it in it has rained for the majority of the last two weeks. Fall is definitely here early this year, unbelievable. Actually, what’s really unbelievable is the difference in the amount of questions in my inbox when I have 300 students, and not just 50.

What is really funny to me sometimes, is that they see me as a grown up, adult, whatever the term. I guess, despite the impending doom of another birthday, I still don’t apply those words to myself… (denial, perhaps but adults have things like children & IRA’s…) Maybe it’s because I’m still in school. But, anyway, on my way out I pass through the co-op to shortcut to the parking garage. I decided to pick up a juice for the ride and that’s when I hear a tentative “Um, Professor?” from behind me. (snicker) It seems the young student in my office earlier today lost his check card, and without six dollars they wouldn’t let him out of the parking garage. So he was trading in all the change he found in the car for bills, and still was two dollars short… So, I loaned him two bucks. Now if any of you know me, you know this is a situation I, in all my absentminded glory, might easily end up in myself. And he has absolutely no idea how lucky he was that I actually HAD two bucks to loan him! And I’m the authority figure? Again snicker.

Then we get to the elevator and he asks, “So when did you start studying anthropology?”
I replied, well I started grad school in ’99, got my masters in 2002 and hope to finish up this year”
“Oh, (pause) in 1999 I was twelve.”
Great, just great, now I feel really old…

Friends

2006-08-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about friends lately. What helps us make friends? To keep one? To drift away? What qualifies our closeness? Is it the length of time you’ve known someone? Or what you are willing to share? Can you gain back old friends? All of these questions… I guess there really aren’t answers. I’ve just been pondering lately. Heard this little report today and it’s totally worth listening to:

The Two-Year Rule for Golden Friends

From gators to otters… What?

2006-08-16T13:38:00.000-07:00

“I started punching the otter in the face, which I felt really bad about because it’s cute… but it was killing my dog.”
- Leah Vanon, who rescued her Labrador retriever, Jasmine, from an otter that came ashore and dragged the dog into the water in west Boca Raton, Fla. (as quoted in Newsweek)

You know it’s little tidbits like that one that will make me miss my subscription to Newsweek when it runs out.

Insomnia strikes again, up at 4:30 this morining. My neighborhood is nice and quiet at that time, it s a good time to work, so one more chapter finished three to go…

Nothing can ruin your day faster than an insurance company

2006-08-09T12:57:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of hassles in this life that pass under the bridge only managing to minorly ruffle my feathers, and then there is insurance… We actually pay these people to deny us and make us miserable…

I’ve been a horrible insomniac all my life. And, well, not sleeping makes you a not so nice person. I’ve always resisted the idea of prescription drugs as I’ve been afraid to become addicted (easily) to sleep agents and because of all their nasty side effects such as sleep eating, and sleep driving…

I finally broke down, got a real doctor, had a physical and got samples of a non-addictive sleep medication one that works to more naturally regulate sleep cycles without just knocking you out with barbituates. Amazingly for the first time I’ve actually slept for consecutive nights in a row, and woke up without feeling like the drug had knocked me into a total stupor. I can’t even begin to articulate the toll insomnia can take on you and your productivity. So, you can imagine how I felt when I was informed my insurance won’t pay for this drug. I’m expected to pay $95.00 a month to sleep, or take another type of drug, one that just knocks you out, makes you sleepwalk and totally unproductive the next day cause you can’t wake up. So it’s either sleep not or sleep always. Great choices.

So, now I am typing this, trying with difficulty to reign in my temper while I wait for days to see if the doctor’s office can fix this mess. It just goes to show that for every good thing that happens: fun camping trips, getting productive work done, finding the perfect wedding dress – something equally shitty will happen: Truck broken (at least not on the camping trip), Saturn not so good, Insurance people suck... I often wonder “What’s next?” I guess the key to happiness is not letting the crappy moments totally overshadow the good times.

Friendly Chipmunks and Freezing Weather

2006-08-08T06:03:00.000-07:00

There is really nothing better then a three day weekend, that is until Monday rolls around. To celebrate Dan’s 30th birthday and my friend Kelli’s birthday, we took off for a weekend of camping in the White Mountains. Because little Miss Last Minute (meaning me) was planning this little getaway only a few days before departure we ended up in a family campground. It was really nice, just really congested. I’m more accustomed to the kind of camping where there is No. One. There. We aren’t totally loud people, but it’s a pain to pay attention to “quiet hours.”

Our first morning we were visited by an extremely friendly and brave little chipmunk, who definitely likes bagel. After some crumbs to whet his appetite he actually started taking them out of my hand.

We went to the Flume (Franconia Notch, NH) in the afternoon. There you walk though a very tight notch through which a river runs, in the late fall they have to take the walkways out to accommodate the massive rush of water in the spring. I visited there with my parents as a child and I was curious to see if it was as impressive as the lingering childhood impressions I amazingly retained (I can’t remember a lot!). I remembered the water being a lot more ferocious, and the walks being a lot higher up, but I think that might have a lot to do with scale, I’m not 3 feet tall anymore ;o) It is really beautiful up there, it was so nice to get away. Of course the other view was three “ladies” who had definitely been men in a previous decade.

We actually managed to go through 2 loads of firewood in as many evenings, primarily because Sean and Dan stayed up all night till they burned through it all (pyros). I knew it would be considerably cooler up there, especially after fleeing a horrendous heat wave in CT, but it got seriously cold up there on our second night. I was freezing, the next morning I asked the office what the temperature got down to - 39°! No Wonder!

I can’t wait to go camping again, I’m already trying to pick a new location, South.

Recent exploits

2006-08-07T06:32:00.000-07:00

Well the blogger is still being squirley about posting photos, so you'll just have to wait for them later and an update on this past weekend...

So, Its been a long while since I’ve updated this thing. Guess I’m slipping a little bit. But I’ll try and use my usual generic excuse that I’ve been really busy. Doing what? You might ask. Well I officially finished another chapter of my thesis and handed it in! Woo Hoo!!!! That made time for a weekend of car shows.

The guys from the shop took the Swift VW to the Funkmaster Flex car show in Hartford on Saturday. We checked that out in the afternoon. There were some good cars, but the music was pretty unbearable. However the car did win best VW!! Rockin. Matt found new “models” from the Gold Club to help promote the shop

The next day was the Swift car show at the speed bowl. That meant getting up at 6 am on the weekend, not something I prefer but I got over it. Laci and I helped with registration and then wandered around all day. Here are a few pics of the car (and trophy).

Spent the next day recuperating from the weekend. We went to see Clerks II and I have to say that has been the highlight of my last two weeks! That movie rocks, I think I need to go again.

The rest of the week passed in a blur of errands and rather failed attempts at drafting the figures for my next chapter. Friday morning I was up early and heading to Rochester NY for A &T’s wedding. Of course we lit it up a bit on Friday night. We decided to check out the night life and ended up at Daisy Dukes, who’s claim to fame (other then being a country western bar in Rochester) was a mechanical bull. And yes, for the record I did ride it and I have the tee shirt to prove it, and unfortunately the video that T took… It was really a hysterical thing to watch. If you were a pretty girl, and scantily clad, the guy controlling the bull took it real easy. If you were dumb enough to do it in a skirt he would toss you off so your skirt was sure to go over your head. Finally if you were a guy, he sent you flying into the wall ASAP. Poor M had to go to the chiropractor in the morning before the wedding. At least the groom didn’t get messed up too bad. We all had bruises and scrapes!

The wedding was of course gorgeous and they had a rockin band. We danced till late and then had a nightcap in the hotel bar before finally falling asleep. By the time we got home I was so exhausted I could barely move, of course that meant it’s time for a heat wave… So now I’m back in the office, melting. The weather forecast calls for 100 degrees today with a heat index making it feel like 110. Yippee, it’s like I’m back in Africa except with about 100% humidity.

Update

2006-07-18T12:43:00.000-07:00

Still wilting… its 97° in the shade and my house is an oven. I may actually cave in and go to school to work tomorrow where I can find some AC. I don’t usually like AC but the heat has gotten bad enough to inspire the stupids. I ended up closing the file for my current chapter this morning without saving my changes. So much for a mornings worth of work! I think I’m going to give up and go outside. Dan’s washing his car, which means he’s guaranteed to try and hit me with the hose. Bring it on!

Momma Said Knock You Out!

2006-07-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

This is such a classic photo, I think it should be preserved for posterity. Ok, so not only is Bush making a totally unflattering face in this picture, but leave it to the New York Times to put it on the front page of their online edition! But the question I really have… Is Blair really just talking to him, looks to me like he’s finally ready to knock him out!!! Funny stuff, diplomacy is. (Yes that was a Yoda grammatical moment and I’m not changing it!).

I just have to say I’m really lovin my 2nd story, landlocked office not that the temperature is supposed to hit 105° today. Mouse it totally knocked out from the heat, but heaven forbid she should take up a little less space on the desk. All my stuff (and me) are crammed in a corner. Speaking of knocked out, Dan is finally sleeping after his marathon week getting the Swift VW ready for Waterfest. The last time he was home, and had more then a short nap was Wednesday! Either he thrives on that kind of situation or he’s an alien! He had air conditioning in there so, my guess is he'll probably sleep till about 4 pm... any bets?

These four walls

2006-07-12T06:39:00.000-07:00

Its seems all my social time is compacted into the weekends now. Friday was the Swift Motersports car show at Sailfest. Man was I glad we went on Friday and not the next day, when an 89 old man freaked out and drove through the crowed hitting 27 people right in front of the Swift booth! Eeek!

Of course the Ortiz – Shamrock fight seemed like a letdown after all the hype. Shamrock was down in just a minute and a half – I was hoping it would last longer. Anyone who talks that much shit shouldn’t have got off that easy!

I know my blog hasn’t been that interesting lately, but it’s hard to observe and photograph amusing things to post when you never leave the house! I guess I shouldn’t complain, I’m actually getting a lot of writing done, so you’ll just have to wait for more interesting stuff until I’m liberated from my office!

Of course my neighborhood is still a source of amusement – or annoyance depending on the moment. There are at least two major construction projects going on behind my house. It was interesting when the roofing project began. The guys were throwing large heavy objects off the roof (3 floors up!) and into the dumpster, and every time they did it a thunderous clap of sound resulted. Now anyone who knows me, knows I’m a bit highstrung, you might even say jumpy. Well I’m glad they are done stripping the roof because lost as I was in concentration, every time they tossed something off that roof I jumped a foot. Heart failure here I come… Yesterday took the cake. They usually listen to the Wolf, a classic rock station. One of the guys likes to sing along but yesterday they were experiencing some technical difficulties and the radio cut out in the middle of “Roxaaane….” and the resulting construction worker falsetto finishing the song on his own was absolutely hysterical. Amusing from the burly construction worker point of view, he chooses to sing only the really warbly parts of the songs, like the “whoa – oh – oh – a” part of “With or Without You” by U2 this morning.

Just to return to an old topic. I just want to know how it is that the constructions workers can listen to the Wolf crystal clear, less then 100 m from my window, but can I listen to it? That would be a no… And, it’s not because my stereo sucks, I think I’m just the anti-radio repelling the good radio waves with my mere presence.

Ah the joys of summer

2006-07-07T06:07:00.000-07:00

Today we actually woke up in the presence of the sun. I was beginning to wonder if we needed to start building the proverbial ark. Forecast for today, sunny and 85! I’ll take it! Except I have to go up to the University – I’d much rather go to the beach.

Recent adventure include: I attempted to drive to my friend Meghan’s house for a pre-4th of July shindig. On the way I managed to get caught in a freak storm, the rain wind and lightening was the worst I’ve ever been caught it. Had to get off the road and wait it out while having a complete panic attack because I realized I’d left the window behind my desk open. If a storm like this hit home… kiss the laptop goodbye. This is just the sort of time when you realize that you are far, far too attached to you computer, and the consequence of loosing could be earth shattering. (bye, bye dissertation!) Not that I’m not smart enough to have it backed up elsewhere, but that whole day’s work wasn’t backed up. I used to tease my fellow student about his paranoia regarding this sort of thing, now I must admit I’m eating crow! I finally managed to get Dan on the phone and persuaded him to leave work and go home and close the windows. He had fun informing me that it never even rained in Norwich and he apparently thought I was nuts. Touché!

I actually spent most of the actual holiday at work at my desk. I finally knocked off mid-afternoon and to go over to mom’s and hit the beach. Except that little storm cloud keeps following me around. The weak sun we had in the morning vaporized and the rain rolled in. Good thing we had the top down on the Jeep…

On a good note, between dodging the storms, holiday obligations and wedding shower gift preparation I have finally managed to get another chapter in my thesis finished. Phew, only five more to go…

Current Mood:

2006-07-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

How to know your library book hasn’t been checked out in a really long time… like decades

2006-06-29T10:49:00.000-07:00

So I ventured into the sub-basement of the library yesterday to fish out an old archaeology text. When I got to the check out desk I figured I might encounter some difficulties. Yep, the electronic scanner thingy wouldn’t pick it up. It hadn’t been checked out in so long that it was actually several decades behind the technological times. Look what I found in the front cover… (Dad you should recognize this…)

Buying Peace of Mind

2006-06-26T18:02:00.000-07:00

Today Warren Buffett signed away 31 Billion dollars of his 44 Billion dollar fortune to charity. Yes, that is Billion with a B. While listening to the story on NPR I had just a few thoughts…

He said in essence, that money made from society should be returned to society.

When asked what his kids thought about his giving away all their inheritance he said didn’t believe in inherited dynastic wealth, and he believed they needed to make their own fortunes not be given them.

Both of these are great sentiments in my book, but I’d be more then happy to inherit over TEN billion dollars – I think there is still some dynasty there… they don’t have to start with my checking account balance.

Finally, it was said that Mr. Buffett had arranged his life so he didn’t have to sit in boring meetings and didn’t spend ANY time with people he didn’t like or didn’t want to talk to.

Ok, number three is what really got me. Can you imagine life without having to call the phone company to get the mistake on your bill fixed? To never have to deal with an automated menu on a company’s customer service line or the CSA who doesn’t speak English? To not have to be bothered making a trillion, unhelpful if not tearful phone calls to the university when they withheld too much tax just to be told I absolutely can’t have that money till next year? To not have to listen to the neighbors screaming at each other while you are trying to concentrate?

The list goes on, and on, and on as you can imagine. That one sentence, uttered so unconsciously struck me nearly dumb. For a few silent minutes I imagined my life with all of those things gone… They say money doesn’t buy you happiness, and I firmly do believe that, I’m a pretty well grounded person and I like to think I know what is important in life. But today I learned what money does buy you… its sanity.

Catcapades

2006-06-23T14:59:00.000-07:00

The most amusing thing to happen over the last few days took place last night. Well Daniel might not have found it quite so amusing.

My cats are usually pretty good, they are both chow hounds but usually remain out of trouble in the kitchen, except if fish or shrimp are involved.

I’ve just begun cooking fish more often, and apparently Mouse has become aware of this. So last night I leisurely ate my dinner in front of the tube and she sat with her nose about two inches from the plate at rapt attention the whole time. Now I’m not a miser here – I did give her some. However I didn’t notice her disappear after I finished and sat back to watch the remaining half an hour of my program before cleaning up.

I had innocently left Daniel’s plate in its usual spot on the kitchen counter awaiting his return. Now normally they don’t do anything bad, but much to my dismay when I went to clean up there was only about a 2 inch square piece of fish remaining on the plate (the alfredo noodles with artichoke hearts were totally untouched). I’ve definitely learned my lesson – don’t trust them around the broiled sea creatures!

Poor Dan, he came around 10 pm hungry only to find the cat ate his dinner…. Poor guy ended up with a bowl of cereal. But Simba got the remaining bit of fish (happy cat!)

He is hysterical for some of the positions he get in to sleep. He is totally enamored with cushy blue pillows we have on the couch. They are filled with tiny synthetic pellets and feel really neat (wow, nice adjective). Dan caught this pose recently…

Class Dismissed

2006-06-23T13:36:00.000-07:00

I guess it’s time that I updated. I wish I could say I’d been on vacation, or some other fun reason for not updating but alas that would not be the case. But I am happy to report that I survived teaching the summer class and actually managed to get all their papers and exams graded and I even posted their grades. My motivation you ask? Being able to say I’m really finished and not having to spend a chunk of a well deserved weekend grading. We are supposed to go see the Blue Angels at the airshow.

I often feel like this part of CT is stuck in radio purgatory. I grew up listening to WBRU which I love, and which absolutely will not come in here. Then there was a few months of excitement when a Boston alt rock station (WFNX) broadcasted locally until I woke up one morning to sports talk radio. Let me repeat that sports..talk..radio.. THAT CRAP SUCKS!!!! Leaving essentially the oldies station from the casino which might be nice except that it really doesn’t come in either, odd since I can actually see the casino from my house, and the jammin’ hip hop station (I don’t think so). Recently I bought a cord to connect my computer to my stereo out of desperation to listen to my itunes, but today I finally had a revelation… yeah I know I’m slow. Both my favorite stations are streaming online! Sweet! So, now as long as I’m near a computer I can listen, I’m a total music junkie. Of course this doesn’t help in the car, but I guess you can’t have everything.

However, as I’ve been listening and writing the weather report may mean a weekend inside not enjoying all the things I meant to by getting all my grading done :o(

Murphy’s Law 101

2006-06-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

Following the beaver incident I’ve started to carry the camera around a lot more. Consequently absolutely freakin nothing of any interest what-so-ever has happened!! Of course. So folks nothing new to report…

My Cat Will Beat Up Your Bear...

2006-06-12T05:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is WAY cooler then anything I'm likely to observe today, so I just have to share. From http://www.gothamist.com/ via my friend Floyd...

"This week might not have been the best week for small dogs but fat felines should certainly be proud of their kind. Why? Well look at that picture above. That's Jack the cat protecting his owners yard in West Milford, New Jersey from a visiting black bear.
When the bear first came into the yard Jack went after him and scared him up a tree. After fifteen minutes the bear finally got the balls to come back down, only to be chased up another tree minutes later. Finally, worried for the safety of their 15-pound-pussy Jack's owners called him back into the house and the bear went away. Not exactly New York news, but still, how cool is that cat? "'

Heh heh heh, you said beaver…

2006-06-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

I managed to catch a horrible cold, lost my voice and everything. So I had to cancel class yesterday and I’ve been moping around the house for several days. I made it up to school today to teach and I was walking back to my car after making it through 2.5 hours of class (and thankful it was over) when I gave a start… Was that a beaver? or the biggest woodchuck on the planet? What? Where? In the middle of campus?

Yep, yes it was. So I stopped for a few minutes and was watching the big guy chew on a handy wooden post that was there to tag some sort of fancy ornamental tree. Then I looked left and this really eager beaver (Yes! How often do you get to say that for real?) was waddling readily towards the roach coach. It totally didn’t care that there were a few people waiting in line. In fact I think one guy in a suit was a little freaked out about this because he started stomping his foot on the pavement (grumpy). About 20 seconds later two toasted bread ends came sailing out of the roach coach. Apparently she was just waiting for her daily lunch!!! Typically I didn’t have the camera along, it’s too bulky for my purse, but I managed a few somewhat blurry shots with my camera phone of a beaver messily eating toast! What else can I say? It totally made my day!

Gentlemen Start Your Engines!

2006-06-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

Guess how I spent my weekend? Yep you guessed it (actually probably not) at the Dover International Speedway, cheering on Dale Jr. and Jimmie Johnson!! It was a total blast. Talk about the power of sound…. amazing it vibrated the entire stadium which was huge. It was fun on so many levels, just getting away from the house, getting to hang out with some new friends, Pat and Roxanne (I managed to avoid singing the song to her though), finally getting to see some serious race cars, and doing a lot of fun people watching. We had awesome seats right near the start/finish line and pit boxes.

Of course, Yours Truly, had to throw a bit fat monkey wrench into the plans by leaving the memory card for the digital camera in the friggin car at the park-and-ride!!! (What degree am I getting?) So no pictures cause I suck! Dan keeps teasing me that I’m not going to tell anyone where I was over the weekend, but honestly I’m ready to go again. BIG FUN! I might just end up a Nascar fan yet.

A Hairy Ordeal

2006-06-02T15:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, time to admit it. I got a perm. Ok, I said it, I feel much better now. Imagine I have been so traumatized by this simple decision for weeks before and a few days after…. As I was growing up I always had the straightest hair, pin straight, and flat. So Mom gave me a series of not so good home perms, trying to give my hair some body. No perm really ever made me happy all I wanted was naturally curly hair.

So year later, after having uber-short hair for years I decided to grow it out. Mostly for Dan – short hair is so easy to deal with. Anyhow it grew back in half curly - half straight. OK, now what? No matter what I did it didn’t look good. After about a year of prodding I let my hairdresser talk me into getting the top permed to “match.”

The first few days it was out of control, and I was scared. I didn’t tell anyone I knew, if fact I saw Kier in town right after it was finished. But I was too chicken to yell out and get his attention. Now a week later it’s mellowed a bit and is starting to look nice. I even updated my picture online. We’ll just have to see from here. If it sucks – I’m shaving it off!!

Cheeky Little Bugger...

2006-05-31T07:17:00.000-07:00

I always start my morning out with my cup of coffee at my desk clicking away on the computer. Mouse of course joins me, finding whatever space she can in the middle of my desk directly in front of the window. But now we have a new morning friend. It’s this totally cheeky blue jay, who I like to call Stan. Stan has visited the last few days and has taken to tormenting Mouse. He sits on the branch of the pine tree just a few feet from the window and caws at her. If she doesn’t react enough he flies straight at the window (straight at her head) and then veers off at the last second. He keeps this up for over a half a hour each morning. Its great fun for him (and me) but I think she’s pissed.

As for Simba well all you can say about his highness is spoiled, spoiled, spoiled…. I haven’t had the heart to discourage him from invading the guest bedroom yet, hence the absolute carpet of cat hair on the bedspread, Ugh. Glad I have a new washing machine…